29 April 2011

It was supposed to be a day full of joy. I was going to try on my wedding gown. My sister from Singapore flew home to go bridal shopping with me the next day.

I couldn't sleep the night before. I thought it was out of excitement.

I normally do not check my phone at school but as I was leaving my class after 2 hours of teaching, I heard my phone ring as a message came in. I walked to my place and took out my phone. It was Jimmy telling me that he was unable to go see me try on wedding gowns because he had an urgent meeting that afternoon. Bummer.

There was another message from my sister from Singapore: Grandma passed away 15 minutes ago.

My grandmother half-raised me up, if you could put it that way. My mother became a housewife shortly after I was born but I remembered playing with my grandmother a lot. I was her companion and she was mine for the first 5 or 6 years of my life. Then, we drifted apart as I went on to school.

Although we were never very close, I was perhaps one of the only other person in my house who would still chat with her from time to time. Everybody else in my family was too busy. I was just thinking that I should at least try to watch tv with her in her room for an hour or two the next weekend I was home (she was bed-ridden after suffering from a stroke last August or September).

It is all too late now. I regret not spending more time with her. I regret not letting her know that I care for her. I regret not letting her know that she had always been a good grandmother to me.

From her death, I have learnt a very valuable lesson: we need to spend time with our loved ones right now. There may never be another "tomorrow".

Rest in peace, Ah Ma. Til we meet again some day...