Once upon a Paris...

I mentioned in my blog post long ago that I was posted to a very small town about an hour plus away. In that small school in the small town, I was perhaps something out of the ordinary. You see, I was different. My first day reporting to the school, I went with my father and his driver. Since the school did not need me in the first place, my father just took me there for formalities' sake and had wanted to take me to Putrajaya to sort the problem out. (By the way, my dad got himself a driver after his by-pass surgery a few years ago and not because we are very rich or anything like that).

So anyway, since the department made the blunder, the headmistress received a call from them to tell her to take me in (even though the quota was full). So, there I was for 4 months. The town was so small that there were only 4 blocks of shophouses in the 'town centre'. And most of the time, the shops are not open. ALL the shops are also closed by 6.30 p.m. So, my arrival and the special case of the department asking the HM to take me in must have been something rather exciting to the folks in that town.

I travelled daily for a week and a half when the price of petrol was at its peak. Transportation alone cost me more than RM 70 per day (coz my car guzzles petrol like crazy and the toll fare was more than RM 10 per trip). I travelled because I didn't have anyone to rent a place with. Rather than having me to travel almost 4 hours daily and spending so much on petrol, my father said that I should rent a whole house on my own since the place wasn't too expensive either (big news to people around there as well).

My kind colleagues were worried because I was going to be staying in a house with 4 rooms alone. I told them not to worry as I planned to bring Charlie along to accompany (and protect) me. Yup, Charlie, who is friendly to everyone. But, hey, my landlord wouldn't let me bring bigger dogs over. So, anyway, I suppose in the eyes of the town folks there, I was their local Paris Hilton. LOL...

                                                           

                    

                    Low Quality Imitation

                        ====>

The pupils look forward to see what I would wear to school every day. They scrutinize the brands of bags that I use. They complimented me. They whispered to each other in front of me, talking about what they liked about my appearance that day. Their comments spurred me on to look better every day. And, at the beginning, I didn't even try to look better to please them. It was just that I was the only Chinese lady teacher who had more than 10 different outfits to school. No offence to the other teachers intended.

However I hated the "no-lifeness" in that small town and however I dislike their scrutiny of what I did and when I did what with whom, I basked in the adoration of those people. I enjoyed being praised. And I took the effort to look good so that they have more nice things to say about me. Hehe...that is a good cycle, I think.

Transferring to this current school, the people aren't as simple and nice. Whatever you do would attract criticism. You wear nice clothes, some would praise you while some would say that what you wear is not appropriate or wouldn't even notice that you are wearing nice/new clothes (which is better than being criticized). You wear make-up and the teachers strongly criticizes you at the back for not allowing your pores to breathe. When you are in this kind of place, it just gets you down and you end up not doing anything to make yourself look out of ordinary or look good. This, my dear friends, is a very bad cycle. We'll all end up looking like old aunties very soon.



By the way, I googled for this image. Somehow, I ended up with Indian 18+ photos for my search for "aunty"! What has become of this world?? Sheesh!

I think I'm not going to care about what those people say. I wanna look good! I wanna be local Paris Hilton again! I'll lug Charlie to school in my back pack tomorrow! LOL...

The not-perfect housewife

I think I'm a hoarder...a mild one, that is. Since I was home because of unexpected holiday on Thursday and Friday, I managed to catch the show on Bio.. Hoarders. As I was watching the case of a young lady who uses the entire floorspace as her office because she doesn't have enough space on her table, I see a striking similarity between myself and the woman. I have a lot of books that I don't read anymore: children's books that I keep buying because I know it is a good one but I don't have the target readers (yet). Magazines that I buy but never throw because there are handy make-up tips in there (that I never use). Magazines that I subscribe to because I thought was cheap but never even got it out of the mailing packet. Paperwork that I copy and kept because you can never know when you would be asked about it again. GOSH...no wonder so many people complain that I have too many things in my room.

So, motivated, I drove 45 minutes back to my rented room and moved all the things that I have not seen in ages into my car. 2 hours later, I've cleared only a small portion of my room, and found countless pens, paper clips, files that I've "collected" over the years because I couldn't find them when I needed them. Hmm...

When I left my room, I can see that my gigantic bookshelf still cannot fit into the area that I just cleared. Sigh...

45 minutes drive home again. And now it's my mom and the maid's turn to sigh. LOL...love you, mum! =P

So anyway, is anyone interested in Newsweek? They are all brand new and I don't read them. I've subscribed to them up to next year...sigh...good money gone to waste. Leave a comment. I'll mail them to you. :)

Now, to minimize the clutter area. I gotta remind myself to throw or donate! Throw or donate! Throw or donate!! Yeah...

Tidiness vs Cleanliness

I admit that I am an extremely untidy person. Those who have stayed with me would know that I have things strewn all over my room. But, I must say, although my room is messy, I do clean up my room. I am quite particular about cleanliness, just not the tidiness. :P

I normally become very particular about tidiness when my stress level is very high. Then, I will throw a lot of things, drag a lot of things out and tidy them up. Of course, almost every time after I do that, I will regret later because I would find a lot of new things which I have kept for a long time and got new ones because I forgot about them, and also because I wouldn't be able to find the things that I normally would be able to find when everything is everywhere.

I really don't know how Jimmy is taking my untidiness. He is almost as messy as I am, but I am better than he is in the sense that at least I clean up! :P But then, I dislike the fact that people complain about my messiness. Hey, I am living in it and I don't/didn't ask you to live in my mess! So, what gives you the right to complain? Anyway, if you don't like it, don't look at it la. What's your probrem? That's why I get very agitated and offended when my current housemates complain about the many things in my room. "Suka hati gua la! U blow ar?"I wish to shout at them when they say my room is messy.

Sigh~~ unfortunately, the past few weeks have made me look at the state of my room (and the state of my school table) and smile shyly coz they are really in a mess!! So, before I go and study for my exam this Friday, I'm gonna clean it up! Will show you the after picture when I've cleaned it up. :P

P/S: Don't complain! I'm just showing it to you to share. You don't have the right to complain. :P

My table full of unmarked books due to the Sports Day rehearsal.

My untidy working table with my coffee mug, printer and what nots.

My unmade bed because I was almost late this morning.

The worst, most untidy part of the room. Gosh...mandarin oranges from February! Ewwww...

Haha...phew..that is relieving...I'll show you the after pictures in a few days...watch out for the transformation. :)

Good Bye 2009!

Wow...too soon, the year 2009 is coming to an end. Looking back, I think I've done quite a lot this year:

1.Starting at a much bigger school in town, I've taught, learnt and decided that giving my all to a bunch of ingrates is not worth it at all. :P

2. I've learnt to be more money-savvy. Every sen counts when you earn your own living and are trying to survive without financial aid from your family.

3. I've learnt to be less naive. Office politics...sometimes, rumours have to be believed.

4. I've learnt that it is a great feeling to be loved, and I truly appreciate it this year. I realize now that I don't have to go against my family to find true happiness. :)

5. I've learnt that we have to take the initiative to meet up with old friends, to do things. We are in control of our lives. Sometimes, we cannot just wait for things to happen

Any resolutions for the new year? Well, I do. For the next year, I vow to:

1. Stop procrastinating.

2. Take initiative to do things.

3. Live healthily...my cholesterol level is way high for my age, not to mention my weight. Hehehe...

Only 3 resolutions this year. Don't want to get over my head with too many changes. :)

HAPPY NEW YEAR EVERYONE!!

I thank God(s)

I wake up this morning feeling absolutely great! I am so touched that I am so loved by my family, friends, pets and the Gods above! Why am I suddenly so grateful (seeing that I have been an absolute ungrateful brat before this)? I don't know. Enlightened, I suppose. ;)

I thank Gods above for my beautiful family. I realise now that my parents, brother and sisters and their families love me unconditionally and are worried about me all the time. They would walk on fire or shelter me from rain with their own bodies if there is the need. It was unfortunate that there is the communication break down within the family that makes each of us forget how much the other loves us sometimes. But I am determined to not let that happen to me again.

I thank Gods above for my extended family. Without you, Ah Yi and Ashley, I think I will not realise how much my parents have done for me. I'm sorry for my MIA status for over 2 months, but I did not want to repeat myself like a broken recorder and be reminded of the difficult times. :) Now that all is well, you can question me all you want. :)

I thank Gods above for Brian. It is definitely quite unusual among the people I know to still be friends with their ex. It is great that he is such an awesome and understanding guy. Girls, this guy is amazing! (Hey B, lemme know if my advertisement for you works, k?) ;)

I thank Gods above for my lovely friends...William, Linesh, Vilo, Melwin, Woon, MeiJu, Hwa Cheat, Sara, Ming Keat, Jarrod, Siaw Hui, Sin Yuan, Sophia, Joshua Paul, Jono, KY and others who were truly worried about me when they heard rumours of the break up but dared not ask for fear of intrusion. Haha...you guys are the greatest...And again, sorry for my MIA status.

I thank Gods above for my good looks and kindness. Hahahahahaha...You people who have/had crushes on me, better 'fess up or risk losing me to another person! Muahahaha...I know Vilo, you have told me so many times, let others have a chance! Hahahaha...

I thank Gods above for my job (and with that, my patience). Teaching brings much satisfaction sometimes. And some of the kids make you really passionate about teaching and helping them do better in their lives.

I thank Gods above for my lovely pets - Baby, Charlie, Hunter and Kristy. Baby for not biting me much these days and only welcomes me with a helicopter tail. Hehe...when she was slightly younger, she'd be so excited to see me that she could fly bottoms up because her tail was spinning wildly. For other family members, she would just wag her tail. :) And those of you who have seen Charlie would know that he follows me around as though he can't bear to be apart from me even for one second (except when my mom is eating snacks in the kitchen). Hunter, for all his craziness leapts as though his legs were springs when I'm at home. And poor Kristy who used to snap at me is on her last legs after my mom bought Bobby(which is dead after 2 weeks) home to accompany her. I didn't know that turtles are even more violent than dogs when they fight for dominance.

I have much more to be thankful for. Right now, it is for KFC. Hahaha...am off to have my finger linkin' good lunch now.

Amen, Amin, Namo Amitabha, ohm Shanti shanti shanti...

I hearby promise...

Dear Ashley, thanks for staying loyal to my blog. Haha...

Well, life has been different for me. I've been through quite a lot of new feelings and experiences in the three months that I have been posted. It's ironic how I used to laugh at Melwin because she said that her mother was going to live with her wherever she was posted to until she got used to herself and end up having my mother stay with me for 3 whole months. Hahaha...not that I am complaining (the place which I got posted to is seriously a dead-end) but I used to be so proud of my independence and wished that I could stay away from my family a bit. :)

In the end, having my mom with me for the three whole months made me think of how much my family really do love me. For fear of my safety, my mother who is approaching 60 decided to leave my dad to fend for himself and come live with me. The truth is, if anything had happened in those 3 months, my mom wouldn't be of much help. But the idea of her wanting to protect me from harm, is just priceless.

I seriously regret having to hurt their feelings just so that I could feel a bit happier. I've learnt my lesson. Rebellion will not last. At the end of the day, it is your family whom you will fall back to. However much you disagree with their points of view, you would have to admit that they see things clearer.

Thank you all who have made me see my ways. I promise that I will try not to hurt my parents' feelings after this. Ashley, you gotta remind me, ok? Haha...take care y'all.

I am 50 goin on 24!

Weeks at home have added a few unwanted kilograms onto my already fat body. Yup, life is tough for the glutton with a too loving mother and an efficient maid. The situation was made worse when people seem to have the urge to tell me that I have put on weight after not meeting for some time. Hey, didn't your mama teach you not to say anything if you don't have anything nice to say? Telling people that they have put on weight is under the category of "not nice", ok? I was cursing and swearing about the person who made my days ahead gloomy when my skinny sister laughed at my anger. Wtf? I believe in karma...may those skinny people who laugh at a fat person die obese or put on lots and lots of weight after giving birth to children!! Muahahaha...

So anyway, I noticed that my mother who is approaching 60 was still making an effort to look good and do things that make her feel and look good. Compare that to me who is only 24 but look and feel like a woman 50 years older. I was devastated. I haven't even started enjoying my life as a teenager or a vibrant 20 something and I am already ancient. I kid myself about being in the teaching profession was the reason I look and feel like a mothe rof 30 children, but the fact is, I have just not been LIVING like my age!

I have been conservative my whole life. My only attempt at wanting to follow the fashion and wear a spaghetti strap top for shopping was frowned upon by my father. And that was it...I never did try to wear anything that is considered fashionable or acceptable to a young lady after that. Haha..not that I am blaming my father; my yoyo weight did not help either.

So, today I experimented with my boundaries. I bought an orangey halter top last year for my sister in Australia but it was too big for her. I have kept it with my growing pile of clothes that I hoped to wear someday because they are either sleeveless or too tight for me just now. So, I've decided to live a little today and wore the said orangey top out on my date with Brian.

It took a lot of Dutch courage. Haha...I had to get a boost from coffee and whiskey. Nah, just kidding. But it did feel weird wearing something that bares your shoulders when you are out in public. I think I shocked my maid who has never seen my shoulders! Muahahaha...

Although I felt uneasy at first because it is SO not my style, it made me feel good, overall. I felt that I somehow fit in the "young" crowd in KL. And I was finally wearing clothes that I longed to wear but never dared not fear of being laughed at. Surprisingly (or thankfully) no one made the attempt to laugh at a fat girl who's trying to wear skimpy clothes! And no one looked twice either, which is good! It means that there are more (ugly) girls wearing ugly clothes in Malaysia! Haha...Hmmm...or maybe there are just too many old aunties in KL trying to look young by wearing so not age-appropriate clothes for the KL youngsters to care anymore? Hmmmmmmmmm....

Anyway, my mom was also shocked by my "sudden change" as she could not recognize me when I came home. I don't know, it may sound stupid to you, but wearing that top made me feel refreshed, rejuvenated, reborn! Haha...it may be another few months, weeks or days before I may try to attempt to live my age, but at least I am trying to do some stuff before I die!

Well, laugh at my flabby arms if you want to but I felt like a million dollars when Brian took this photo of me! Ahh..the power of being loved. :P

Resolutions revisited

A reminder to myself: 2007 is not over yet, so I can still try to fulfill what I had resolved to do in the Chinese New Year post.

Yup, I had 5 resolution listed during Chinese New Year and I vowed to fulfill at least 1. Well, let's see my progress so far:

1. Try to eat right, sleep right and exercise more

Ok, for a while there, I got my cholesterol level under control. That was about 3 or 4 months ago. I don't know what's the level now. As for my sleeping habits...well, I suppose it is good news now that my bed time is at 1030 or 11 at the most, no matter what time I wake up. =P Exercise...am still working on that. I have been walking Woon's Siberian Husky twice daily for the past a week and a half! And Demon can really RUN when you are trying to JOG alongside him. Let me see if I can get a photo of him later. ;P

2. Lose weight

Ok, so much for my resolution. I've put on approximately 3kgs since July. So, my newer resolution, try to lose the 3 kgs by the end of the year. The other 5? Can wait til next year la...

3. Donate blood again

I am planning to donate blood again but I've been rather sickly since the teaching practice. Hope I can do so before the year is out. Fingers crossed.

4. Save money

Considering I've used up most of my savings for the Australia trip, I think I have saved quite a lot (although it meant part-timing and being a "gu hon duk" for the past few months =P). Hehehe...well, at least I can say that I have saved a bit more money this year compared to the past years! Let's see if I can keep it up and not blow my savings on some stupid stuff like diet programme. =P

5. Stop procrastinating

Nope, no progress on that, although I did try to kickstart my assignments earlier. Still procrastinated til the very end. Guess this would have to be resolved again next year. =D

Sigh...so much for making my resolutions public!

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On a different note, these are some very, very backdated photos that I had wanted to post:

Among the many nice-looking desserts served in the hotel from my China-Fujian trip last year (yup, I know!! =P)

Shark's fin soup at a famous chinese restaurant to celebrate my father's birthday. My family must have killed a few sharks that night!

Abalone (pronounced ab-uh-loh-nee) at the same restaurant. 2 for RM140! Sheesh!!

Tiramisu at Itallianies. MM-hmm....other must try's: cheese stuffed mushroom as a starter. Ooh la la!

The perks of being a practical teacher in CBN (1). We escorted some pupils to Menara KL and we got free lunch at the Barra restaurant at the bottom of Menara KL. Food was lousy but am in no doubt expensive. Look at the cute bottle that they gave us, shaped like the Tower. I only had it with me for less than an hour because I forgot to take it when we were done with lunch. =(

Chinese New Year resolution

Chinese New Year came and went by so quickly. Nothing much to say about it except that I got extra money from my dearest sister for my birthday which fell on the Chinese New Year eve this year! Yay!! Where can you find this kind of sweet sister, I ask you? Hehehe...
So, anyway, like last year, I would post my Chinese New Year Resolution on my blog and hope that I can at least fulfill some of it this year. I couldn't even fulfill even one of my five resolutions last year *sigh*. So here goes:

1. Try to eat right, sleep right and exercise more
Hmmm..ok, so this is 3 resolutions in one, but my ultimate aim is to lead a healthier life. Yup, some of my friends would know that even though I'm only in my early 20s, I have the health of a 40+ year old. Not to mention that I am at risk of getting hereditary diseases...so, to prevent my death before I even hit 30, I'd try to lessen my fast food intake, sleep moderately and exercise more. Oh, and for those of you who eat fast food often, try getting your cholesterol level checked, because you may just find yourself being at risk of having an artery blockage! It is a silent killer and it is actually rather common for young people to have a very high cholesterol level.

2. Lose weight
Related to the above, I am actually 5 kilograms overweight by doctor's standard and at least 10 kilograms overweight by beauty standards. I'm planning to lose only 5 kilos. Skinny people can stop saying that you are fat in front of me, k?

3. Donate blood again
I went to donate blood for the first time in Nov 22, 2006. Even though I nearly fainted, I felt good after that. Just want to ask doctors-to-be: if my cholesterol level is very high (like 160, forget what unit the Malaysian lab use) but am not taking medication (YET), will I be risking the life of the person who receives my blood? Hmmm...

4. Save money
Ok, I didn't save much last year. And my aim was to have at least 5 digits in my account before I am 25. Looks like it's still a very long way to go! Ok, I'll lower my aim for this year: I'll save 10% of my monthly allowance.

5. Stop procrastinating
Hehehe...this year, this is way down the list. I promise that I'll try to start doing my work at least 2 weeks before the die (due) date. Hehehe...

I'm not aiming for much, just these 5 for the Pig year. Can I do it? I'll try to fulfill at least the first one. Dying of heart attack at 40 doesn't sound appealing to me. Haha...
Wish me luck...