Saturday, August 29, 2009

Cracking, cracking, CRACKED

Ok...most of the times I think of myself as an unfilial daughter. I didn't spend enough time with my mother or father (I'd prefer to sleep or go out with my friends). I am not patient with my mother (nowadays I snap at her when she cannot comprehend what I am trying to say). I don't like the fact that my mother gives stinging comments (I know I am fat, you don't have to keep reminding me AND tempt me with food while you do it).

I appreciate the fact that I am VERY lucky to be born into this family, but I am not contented. I love the fact that I have a lot of time to spend with my parents, but the thing is, when you know that someone is waiting for you and just hawking on the time to spend together with you every single time eventhough you were thinking of doing something else, is tiring...that's why I never thought having children is a good idea. Haha...

I mean, I know that my mother is lonely. In many ways, I am like her. I don't need many friends. Leave me alone with some money and space and I can spend my time happily and fulfillingly. My mother, unfortunately, has had too much alone time that she is just waiting for company, which her children can't provide. And accompanying her is not a problem at all...I mean I love my mother...but I can't stand it when she grumbles at me for not tidying up my room, or when I sleep in (on weekends, for God's sake!), or when I changed my mind about doing some chores. Give me a break...I've been doing things at my own pace for 5 days a week, I can't change my habits just because I come home on weekends! I've been tempted to not come home for the weekends. It didn't work out because of the guilt factor and the fact that I can't stand being in the house with my housemates the whole weekend either (more on that in other post). I mean, I admit...I AM WEIRD.. I AM A LONER, so LEAVE ME ALONE!! I really that bad? I mean, working from Monday to Friday (and sometimes Saturday), I just want to spend a day of doing nothing or doing things that I want at whatever time that I want on the weekends. I don't know if other people feel the same way as I do. Torn between wanting time alone / time to spend at your leisure versus time with family members / fulfilling their wants? I see that my siblings will advise me to be patient and just spend time with our parents, but I hardly see them doing the same...

Sigh...a week at home has taken its toll...and the stress of my sister's family coming home, and the fact that my boyfriend was almost non-existent the whole week, and that I am just a whiny, lousy person over all. Hate you, world. Hate you too, God! Hate MYSELF the most!

Thursday, August 27, 2009

Woo hoot~ I didn't waste the day away!

It has been a productive day today. I had a to-do list of 10 items, and by 10:30 p.m., I have completed 7. The other 3 that I haven't done? Well, they are for me to run on the treadmill, to do at least 30 sit ups and clean up my room. Haha..well, I guess the first two can be postponed. Anyway, my abs are still aching from the 20 sit-ups I did yesterday. :) I watched one a too many diet programmes on Discovery Home and Health and on Hallmark (Oprah and The Biggest Loser).

So anyway, I have finally done 80% of the application for the Master Programme. The uploading of the certificates and the postal order was the most troublesome part of the online application. You would think that online application means it is a faster and more convenient way of applying. Well, I can tell you, it is still a hassle. Perhaps the only convenience is that you do not have to run to UM every other day to get a form or another item. You just had to call the IPS til it rings off the hook and run to IPS once or twice. Haha...

Well, I also managed to bank-in the airplane ticket to Tisha finally. I had to queue up for about half an hour in a bank. Malaysian inefficiency. Similar to the so-called high tech idea of online-application, this is a bank which was the pioneer among the Malaysian banks to have lots of machines for cash deposit, cheque deposits and bank book update. However, the machines are not maintained properly. The fellow in front of me must have been at the machine for at least 15 times trying to get the machine to accept the RM 50 notes. When he finally gave up, I was already impatient. I tried twice and gave up. Off to another machine and voila! a foreign worker was withdrawing money for his friends and I had to wait for another ten minutes or so. Grrrr...

Well, it's 1135 p.m. now. I still have that one thing on my to-do list to complete...or I wouldn't have spac eto lie down on my bed. Hahahaha...


Sunday, August 16, 2009

Update for the sake of updating

OMG...I have been missing for a long time, it seems. Haha...not that anyone would have noticed.

So much has happened since the last I blogged. Just realised that Celcom broadband doesn't work well at my place, so I am basically without internet connection when I'm there either. Hmmm...spent lots of money but didn't get the service I expected.

Work-wise, I've been swamped with work. Marking never-ending books. Getting more wrinkles and hypertension when I enter certain classes. I used to love Fridays because that would be the day I come home to Charlie and my family. But I hate Fridays now because the new Senior assistants revamped the whole school's schedule, putting me in a class I dislike the most in the last two periods. However, I always breathe a sigh of rlief when the class is over for the day. And I always go home with a sore throat. Haha... Can't complain much, I suppose.

Baby is getting older these days. She had an ear infection last month and she nearly bit me because she was in pain and she looked accusingly at me when the vet put a muzzle on her and put her on the surgical table. She's all right now albeit suffering from a little arthritis. Hunter, on the other hand, ran away from home the other day and did not come back til 2 days later. My parents and the maid searched high and low for him but could not find him. When he ran home yesterday, he was so skinny and dirty that I could have mistaken him for another dog. And he had a traumatized look in his eyes. Thought that he would have learnt a lesson and not go out of the house, but he still ran out with the mother when I opened the gate this morning. Grrr...dogs never learn!

It's 3 a.m. and my mom wants me to go to bed already. Hmm...25 and my parents still treat me like a kid. Haha...Well, maybe will blog again tomorrow morning. Hopefully, before next year. Haha...take care you people who still drop by! :)