Friday, July 21, 2006

Feeling blue

Yay...survived another week in UM without a far, so good. Got another ride to and from the Islamic Studies faculty the other day. Hehe...I was too lazy to go get a bus pass. Actually, I was too lazy to get anything done in UM. The place is quite big and confusing. Good thing a friend pushed me to go get my ID card and the internet access application done last Wednesday and Thursday or I would have been drifting in UM again without gaining much! I'll have to remember to get my bus pass next Monday or I would have to eat my words and cling to someone with a car for the whole semester! Hmm...just realised that I am a big hypocrite who use other people as much as I hate other people using me...hmm... =P
But then, I guess it's quite normal for humans to have this simbiotic use me, I use you: sometimes win-win, most times win-lose and others lose-lose situations. I can say that I hate these kinds of things all I like, yet I myself can't break away from this human nature. When I think about it, I am sort of using this "new-found" friend of mine. She doesn't have many friends because of the way she talks and acts, I do things with her now because she shows me around the place and I sometimes need the company. Hmm..still can't figure out why she wants to hang out with me besides the fact that she doesn't have many friends but she hasn't had many friends for the past 4 years, so why hang out with me now? Hmm...
I don't know. Maybe it's because I have too much idle time in UM, I seem to be very thoughtful these days. Haha...I don't mean to say that what I think about is always worth thinking about, but it has reminded me the reason I used to hate human beings. My observation of myself and those around me these past two weeks, adding on to the need to adjust to a strange place have left me feeling slightly depressed. =(
Observation 1: Things happening around the world - killings, robberies, rape and the sad incident which happened to my friend's brother.
Observation 2: Well, as mentioned above, me using people and vice versa.
Observation 3: Most children are very ungrateful towards their parents. As the chinese say, "better to have given birth to a piece of meat than to have given birth to a child; at least the piece of meat fills the stomach".
Observation 4: My elder sister lost her handphone. Culprit: 2 "human beings"/ "creatures of the lowest level" who prey on the human compassion.
How can anyone possibly be happy, living in this world as a human? It's so much better to be an animal, or a plant or an insect. Speaking of which, Charlie was sent to a friend's house for 2 weeks because the "Queen" from Singapore is here for the weekend and he totally forgot about me and is very happy making new friends. See? He doesn't even think or feel sad...whereas if my mother had left me (at a young age, not now!) in her friend's house for 2 weeks because of another person's whims, I would have felt so sad...
*sigh* humans...don't you wish that Bush would just push that "button" and destroy the whole world? They say that apocalypse is going to happen soon, I can't stop thinking "when?". Getting sick/bored of this life...can't wait to retire and become senile! Haha...I wonder if I can volunteer to donate and exchange my brain to another person? Let another person think of all these stupid thoughts...I only want to be a dog! Haha...woof!

Sunday, July 16, 2006

First Week in UM

Yup, one week has passed since I started my class in UM. How does it feel like? Well, I am still quite lost and not used to the place and how things work over there...all this makes me miss MPIK so much. Not that I'm thrown all alone in the abyss of UM life, but I miss the lecturers and the small, lousy yet cosy college. *sigh* I remember that I couldn't wait to leave all these MPIK-ians behind me, yet I stick to them now as though my life depended on them, which in a way, it does...
Anyway, as most would have known, I'm staying at MIllenium Court which is only a 10 minutes walk away from my faculty. So far, so good. My new roomie is a Sarawakian Chinese girl who has been living there for 2 years but is moving away. Apparently, the place is no longer as safe as it used to be coz there are many foreigners who disturb the girls there. Well, thank goodness I have yet to encounter that. The only person who spoke to me at random was the guard. Haha..big joker, thought I was a foreigner! =P But crossing my fingers that my new-new roomie will be as nice as the one I'm staying with right now.
I have been trying to be independent in my new life in UM. No car! Yay...going to resist the temptation for at least another week or hopefully, another month. Seriously, I don't have to have a car...I walk to my faculty and when I have a class at this freaking far faculty, I get a free ride from my friend! Ahaha...nah..gonna try taking the in-campus bus next week. Not bringing a car doesn't mean I'm going to stick like a leech to my friends who do bring their cars! Though I don't fancy the idea of walking to that faculty for that one class, I know the way and can spend my time for a leisure walk 2 hours before and after the class! =P (My poor friends had to walk 40 minutes on the first day and not even ten minutes after arriving, the lecturer dismissed the class! Sheesh!)
I took the bus the other day to go home and I quite enjoyed the experience. Thank goodness for Melwin or I think I wouldn't know where to stop. =) And then I was on the train to go home to Rawang, the people were pushing and shoving their way in as usual. It took a teenage girl in her school uniform to get the working adults in order! She was so agitated that she "shouted" at her friend, for the benefit of all those barbarians around her, to be more courteous and allow people to disembark first before alighting the train. =) I truly respect this girl! I wouldn't have had the courage to ask these barbarians in suit to act in a civilized manner. Imagine! People were even shoving this pregnant lady, and when I tried to give my seat to this lady, people were just standing there, looking and blocking the way! And the only other person who willingly stood up when this pregnant lady came in was an old lady! What happened to chivalry or heck! can't those youngsters stand for a bit?? *sigh* Courtesy campaign? I think we can't only focus on the youngsters but have to focus on those in their 20s, 30s and 40s as well. Courtesy died long ago in our country. blog this time around is kind of jumbled up. Well, too many things have happened since the last blog. Trying to remember everything and type them down is rather tricky with this memory of mine. Haha...gotta go read some stuff on the computer now. Hmm..still not used to the idea of getting notes online. Well, gotta learn to change and move forward sooner or later, right?
Ooh...does anyone know of any part time clerical job available? That is my next move towards more independence! ;P Let me know. Til the next post, take care!

Sunday, July 02, 2006

If you have nothing nice to say...

"Is he really your son ar? Really, really your son? Waaa...what happened to him? What did you feed him with?" Those were the blunt statements made to my brother and my parents last night when we were at my parents' school reunion dinner. So, brother looks a bit old and has put on some weight since his school days but couldn't those old folks just keep their bloody mouth shut?? It makes me hurt to hear those statements, what more my brother. Sure, he laughs it off, my parents laugh it off, but can you imagine the humiliation of hearing those words?
I remember a stupid statement made at me too when I was in Standard 4 and I still don't like the so-called auntie of mine. It was Gongxi Raya, so I was wearing my baju kurung to visit relatives and she kept insisting that I am not my parents' child. happened 12 years ago and I can still vividly remember the anger and hurt that I felt. My brother got so many blows yesterday and many other times that I feel so sorry for him.
I guess these people are just a shallow lot. I have many friends who does that too. "'ve put on so much weight! What happened to you?" This seemed to be the standard opening sentence whenever I meet up with my old friends. Heck, I know I've put on weight! I've got a mirror! What could possibly make people grow fat? If you don't know, then you are so darn dumb. Want me to borrow a primary school science text book from my pupil and let you read it? You poor, poor dumbo! Can you even read?
Like, hello?? If you have nothing nice to say, don't say anything at all. Didn't your parents or teachers teach you that? It always hurts when you hear criticisms or remarks that highlight your weakness/flaws. People don't get used to it. Sure, they may laugh it off, but put yourselves in their shoes: do unto others what you want others to do unto you. Yeah, you may feel good about yourself coz you are "better-off" than the person being critisized in some areas, but there are other qualities that the person may possess that you lack. Just some of the qualities that you definitely lack are finesse, politeness and what we Chinese call "xiu yang" which roughly translated means good manners. Yes, compliment people's looks if you sincerely think that the person looks good but silence is always preferred to a blatant lie or an honest opinion.
Truth is, there are so many more other interesting topics to talk about than one's looks. Talk about books, music, movies, world events...the topic you choose reflects the knowledge that you possess. But if you still choose the ways of the shallow people, stay away from me. Or don't blame me if I smile sweetly at you and say "Oh yes, I have put on weight. You on the other hand have grown uglier/ dumber..what happened to you?"

Saturday, July 01, 2006

Singapore adventure

Yup...I've been missing for a couple of weeks and now I'm back again. has been a rather busy holiday for me. One week more and we are going to University Malaya to start another phase of our lives. Hmm...definitely not looking forward to it.
Anyway, so where have I been for the past two weeks? I was in Singapore "visiting" my eldest sister and her family for the first week and then went sightseeing in Taiwan in the second week.
Let me tell you what happened in the first week. It all started badly. It was a Tuesday morning and it had rained heavily in the morning. Rain = terrible, snail-paced traffic congestion everywhere in KL. My mom and I began our "adventure" to Singapore at 10:45 a.m. We only reached KL at 12 p.m. A quick brunch in Petaling Street and we walked to Puduraya. Our 1:30 p.m. bus came a bit late and when we got on our "VIP bus", we found out that we'd been conned and we were given a 44 seater! Not only that, but tickets with the same seats were printed twice!! My cousin and I had the same seats as two Swedish guys! Sheesh! Talk about Malaysian efficiency! Lucky thing they still know how to count, so only 44 tickets were issued and there were empty seats in the middle, so my cousin and I sat there! One hour into our journey, the bus stopped by the road and said that because the air-cond was not working, we had to wait for a replacement bus. We finally continued the journey at almost 3 p.m. in another 44 seater. But alas! another 1 hour's jam in the Seremban exit and we finally reached Johor at about 5:30 p.m. (If we had taken the more expensive Nice bus, we would have reached Singapore at 5:30 p.m. or 6:30 at the latest). So anyway, the bus stopped at its terminal in Machang for half an hour, then stopped again at another bus terminal, I forget which place. Then, the bus took the First Cosway which is terribly crowded on any day, any time. Everything went well til we reached the Singapore checkpoint. The line that we were standing in was manned by a plump lady who was taking her own sweet time asking questions, humming a little tune and then stamping our passports! Our line was at first the shortest and we ended up lining for more than half an hour. When we finally cleared the customs, our bus had left us!, to those who want to save the fare and take the more economical buses, take note: the drivers only wait for half and hour, their duty of sending you to Singapore is completed once your feet touch Singapore soil, even though it's at the tip of Singapore. So, anyway, my cousin and i went and asked another driver if we could go to the bus terminal in their bus, and the driver wanted S$2 per person. By then, our mothers were nowhere to be seen, so we told the driver to hold the offer while we went and asked our mothers. When we turned around to look for the bus driver, he was nowhere to be found! we went to another bus driver, and he told us to get on his Delima bus, which by the way, is so much more comfortable and spacious compared to our Transnational bus, without charge. That's what I like about Malaysians, some Malaysians anyway...they help fellow Malaysians if the said Malaysian uses Bahasa Melayu to politely ask for help. :) So, anyway, we reached the bus terminal in Kallang Baru safely and my brother-in-law and sister came to pick us up. We were hungry so we went for dinner near their place so that my brother-in-law could go and pick up his son. Not even an hour into the "reunion" with my sister, my sister blurted out some very hurtful statements which made the whole situation awkward and unhappy. I, for one, felt the unwelcome vibes the moment I heard her voice on the phone, but after she had blurted out the statements, everyone felt it. My poor mom! (I'll blog about it some other time) It made all our adventure so NOT worthwhile. If my mom hadn't wanted to go and see her, I wouldn't have cared less if I don't see her for years! True, she must have been hurt by my mom years ago. I actually don't blame her for feeling neglected and hurt by my mom, but couldn't she have made those statements later? Heck! She should have stayed home more and then she'd understand that that is how our mom is like. She would know that our family is weird and its members even weirder. Haha...the episodes in our family could be made into a soap opera and we would have a wide following! ;P
Hmm...4 days in Singapore and we only made truce on the 3rd day- my sister and I, I mean. I guess my mom just took the blows coz she is still her daughter no matter what, which makes me realise that my whole family has been taking everyone for granted. Do you realise that whatever your family does for you is deemed as what they "SHOULD" do, but when someone who's not related to you does the same thing, you'd appreciate their effort? Is it just my family or is that just human nature? Isn't that just so unfair? No one chooses to be related to you or not, except for parents. If you could have a choice, would you choose to be related to your family members now? If it were up to me, I wouldn't want to be born or may be just related to my second sister, and am a far relative of my parents and brother! Hahaha...where does my eldest sister stand? Erm..maybe a friend - she's great with her friends! =P
All said, I'm glad that the visit ended well...for now, dear eldest sister, you are still SO you...but I guess if you had changed, we wouldn't know you anymore. Joey McIntyre sang...Stay the Same, eventhough it makes me go bonkers whenever I'm with/around/thinking about you. Haha...cheerios!