Of Husbands and Dogs

One of my favourite pre-wedding photos. I love the dress!

Time passes really fast. I have been so busy over the past few months that I barely had time to do much other than work, travel and sleep. And when I say travel, it is travelling from home to work and vice versa. :(

Married life is not as I imagined it would be. I don't know if other newly-weds feel the same way. My more experienced colleagues told me to 'train' my husband from the very beginning (haha...while I laughed that they sounded as though they were asking me to train a dog, I regret a little for not heeding their advice). :P

Train the husband to do what? To share the housework. While I am not the best housekeeper ( I admit I'm lousy...and glad that Jimmy doesn't complain that I don't cook, sweep and mop the house every day as I have heard from my colleagues), but I wouldn't mind if I had Jimmy trained to help with what little I do around the house. Hehe...

My efforts to 'train' him after two months of marriage failed miserably. Telling him to take out the trash one day, ended up with me taking a bag of rotting trash out days later. The garden that he had insisted to keep was left unkempt and I had to weed it alone (in anger). Luckily, I insisted on not doing anything with the aquarium that he had wanted. So now, the poor fishies are living in an aquarium of water that has not been changed since a couple of months ago.

However, it's a great thing that he enjoys cooking. Since we also have a rather well-equipped kitchen, he has been experimenting and making rather delicious meals for me. Although I must say that I would have a heck of a cleaning work to do after that because he uses almost all the pots and plates and bowls to prepare a meal. :)

Mashed potato and omelette to go with our roasted chicken

Roasted chicken with garlic and thyme

Malaysian style breakfast

6-course lunch that he prepared for my family before the wedding. My father gave him tips to improve his cooking. LOL

So, if someone asks me, "How's life, married woman?", I guess my answer is "It's like living with an untrained love-able puppy who cooks." Hahahaha...woof!

Life after marriage

Photography by William Leong.

Has it really been almost 2 months now that I have become Mrs. Tan? My tea ceremony was conducted almost a month ago now. So, what has changed since changing my marital status from single to married? Nothing much except that I have now moved into our own house. That also means that I need to wake up really early in the morning and travel about 38 km to school. That's 38 km for one way. Yeah...I know it's a norm for many people. But I was staying a mere 5 minutes' walk away from my school for 3 years! Imagine the change! :)

Other than that, having our own house means a lot of cleaning. I was very enthusiastic about the cleaning up until I moved all my things from my rented room over. All the things are still in boxes tucked away in the maid's room. Hahaha...Jimmy has been great as in he doesn't complain about the many boxes hidden in the maid's room. He also understands that I have trouble adjusting to the fewer sleeping hours and the terrible mood swings that I have because of that.

I wonder how long I need to get used to travelling and then still find the energy to clean up the house AND do my school work. Thank God I live near my parents so my mom has been helping me out with the cleaning up at least once a week! Hahahaha...Mum's the best!

My mom and dad are the best! :)

Getting wha?

Following the Chinese Hokkien custom that when there is any death in the family, any celebrations must be done within a hundred days or wait for 3 years. Hence, my wedding has to be rescheduled to take place within the hundred days. Truth is, I had actually wanted to wait for the three years but it is not fair for certain parties; so, everything has to be done in lightning speed.

From expecting to be married at the end of the year or sometime next year, I got the date from the Feng shui Master for Sepember this year, and now, I'm suddenly going to be registered in June and have the Chinese ceremony in July. Wow...It is hard to digest. :)

So, what have I done so far for my wedding? Erm...I did start a diet. And then I lost control and almost gained back all the weight I'd lost. Jimmy and I have started the renovation works to our house with almost no input from me as I do not care much for designs, compared to practicality.

Everyone around me has been asking me if I am stressed out. Truth is, I think the reality hasn't sunk in. Hahaha...I think I will feel the stress when I try on wedding dresses that don't fit well the day after tomorrow. -.-"

In the meantime, let's just chill. =)

Tuition or to shun?

How much would you pay for your children's tuition? Do you send your children for all the subjects? Do you send them for the tuition because they need help in the subject or because everybody else is sending their children for tuition?

These are the questions that have been going through my mind since last Friday. Some parents took the opportunity at the meeting to ask if I give private tuition. Truth is, I don't believe in the way tuitions are conducted in most of the tuition centres/ by teachers. The aim-for-A concept that is followed is easy money for many teachers, especially when it comes to English.

My parents told me once that I should be giving tuition rather than spending my time doing nothing and that I should pick only the better pupils. Once the children get really good results, more children will come to me for tuition. Well, let's just say that the reason I wanted to be a teacher was not because of the easy money. Nope, nor is it because I want to shape the future generation. Haha...I am not that noble. It is mainly because of the holidays and the free time that a teacher has compared to other occupations. And, ok, partly because I want to help (not shape) some kids like how my teachers inspired me to enjoy English and school.

I digress. So like I was saying, some parents asked if I gave private tuition and told me sad stories like how they cannot help their own children in their schoolwork and haven't been able to find teachers to help the children. One particular boy's mother told me almost in tears that she doesn't know BM and English and can't help much in other subjects. She has been sending her child to tuition centres diligently since Primary One and the end result is that her son's class teacher bluntly told her that unless she sends him to a one-to-one tuition, all the money is wasted. Yup, this boy cannot understand BM nor English and can hardly write in Mandarin. Well, I do want to help but I cannot be volunteering because it would, as they say in Hokkien, "pak pai hang jeng" which means that I am spoiling the market.

So for this reason I have been asking around the fees charged by some teachers for a one-to-one tuition for English and BM. And the price that some of my colleagues discreetly revealed was astronomical. Haha...Gosh...really? Parents fork out so much money for their children yet most of these children do not know how hard it is to earn that amount of money and rather spend the time at the tuition playing and not learning much. And many parents just send their children to tuition blindly without considering that their children really just can't absorb much after one whole day of non-stop tuition. And truly, if a child is able to just pay attention to the teachers in school, most wouldn't need to go for  tuition anyway.

Hmm...what is your take?

Once upon a Paris...

I mentioned in my blog post long ago that I was posted to a very small town about an hour plus away. In that small school in the small town, I was perhaps something out of the ordinary. You see, I was different. My first day reporting to the school, I went with my father and his driver. Since the school did not need me in the first place, my father just took me there for formalities' sake and had wanted to take me to Putrajaya to sort the problem out. (By the way, my dad got himself a driver after his by-pass surgery a few years ago and not because we are very rich or anything like that).

So anyway, since the department made the blunder, the headmistress received a call from them to tell her to take me in (even though the quota was full). So, there I was for 4 months. The town was so small that there were only 4 blocks of shophouses in the 'town centre'. And most of the time, the shops are not open. ALL the shops are also closed by 6.30 p.m. So, my arrival and the special case of the department asking the HM to take me in must have been something rather exciting to the folks in that town.

I travelled daily for a week and a half when the price of petrol was at its peak. Transportation alone cost me more than RM 70 per day (coz my car guzzles petrol like crazy and the toll fare was more than RM 10 per trip). I travelled because I didn't have anyone to rent a place with. Rather than having me to travel almost 4 hours daily and spending so much on petrol, my father said that I should rent a whole house on my own since the place wasn't too expensive either (big news to people around there as well).

My kind colleagues were worried because I was going to be staying in a house with 4 rooms alone. I told them not to worry as I planned to bring Charlie along to accompany (and protect) me. Yup, Charlie, who is friendly to everyone. But, hey, my landlord wouldn't let me bring bigger dogs over. So, anyway, I suppose in the eyes of the town folks there, I was their local Paris Hilton. LOL...

                                                           

                    

                    Low Quality Imitation

                        ====>

The pupils look forward to see what I would wear to school every day. They scrutinize the brands of bags that I use. They complimented me. They whispered to each other in front of me, talking about what they liked about my appearance that day. Their comments spurred me on to look better every day. And, at the beginning, I didn't even try to look better to please them. It was just that I was the only Chinese lady teacher who had more than 10 different outfits to school. No offence to the other teachers intended.

However I hated the "no-lifeness" in that small town and however I dislike their scrutiny of what I did and when I did what with whom, I basked in the adoration of those people. I enjoyed being praised. And I took the effort to look good so that they have more nice things to say about me. Hehe...that is a good cycle, I think.

Transferring to this current school, the people aren't as simple and nice. Whatever you do would attract criticism. You wear nice clothes, some would praise you while some would say that what you wear is not appropriate or wouldn't even notice that you are wearing nice/new clothes (which is better than being criticized). You wear make-up and the teachers strongly criticizes you at the back for not allowing your pores to breathe. When you are in this kind of place, it just gets you down and you end up not doing anything to make yourself look out of ordinary or look good. This, my dear friends, is a very bad cycle. We'll all end up looking like old aunties very soon.



By the way, I googled for this image. Somehow, I ended up with Indian 18+ photos for my search for "aunty"! What has become of this world?? Sheesh!

I think I'm not going to care about what those people say. I wanna look good! I wanna be local Paris Hilton again! I'll lug Charlie to school in my back pack tomorrow! LOL...

The not-perfect housewife

I think I'm a hoarder...a mild one, that is. Since I was home because of unexpected holiday on Thursday and Friday, I managed to catch the show on Bio.. Hoarders. As I was watching the case of a young lady who uses the entire floorspace as her office because she doesn't have enough space on her table, I see a striking similarity between myself and the woman. I have a lot of books that I don't read anymore: children's books that I keep buying because I know it is a good one but I don't have the target readers (yet). Magazines that I buy but never throw because there are handy make-up tips in there (that I never use). Magazines that I subscribe to because I thought was cheap but never even got it out of the mailing packet. Paperwork that I copy and kept because you can never know when you would be asked about it again. GOSH...no wonder so many people complain that I have too many things in my room.

So, motivated, I drove 45 minutes back to my rented room and moved all the things that I have not seen in ages into my car. 2 hours later, I've cleared only a small portion of my room, and found countless pens, paper clips, files that I've "collected" over the years because I couldn't find them when I needed them. Hmm...

When I left my room, I can see that my gigantic bookshelf still cannot fit into the area that I just cleared. Sigh...

45 minutes drive home again. And now it's my mom and the maid's turn to sigh. LOL...love you, mum! =P

So anyway, is anyone interested in Newsweek? They are all brand new and I don't read them. I've subscribed to them up to next year...sigh...good money gone to waste. Leave a comment. I'll mail them to you. :)

Now, to minimize the clutter area. I gotta remind myself to throw or donate! Throw or donate! Throw or donate!! Yeah...

I love my old man

I was reading a blog post about a day out with papa and was suddenly inspired to write about MY days out with my beloved papa. :)

The way with typical Chinese family where both parents are Chinese-educated is that the children will never be really close buds with the parents. My family is one of these families. I grew up knowing that my parents love us very much but in their own ways. There never was any outward displays of affection. My father was strict but he never raised his hands on us (except for one time, which I still complain about until today).

So anyway, my siblings and myself were always closer to my mother when we were younger. Then, when my eldest brother and sister went to study overseas, my father must have suddenly realised that children grow up very fast and that he must spend some time with his younger two. So, my elder sister and myself got all my father's attention from the time when I was about 9.

Being the youngest, I got away with a lot of things with my father. And to be fair, my sister was my mom's favourite, and I became the apple of my father's eye. My dad and I used to quarrel a lot...and we actually enjoyed the tongue sparring. =)

Recently, (well not so recently actually), I went on a movie-date with my dad. A lot of people looked at us in a strange manner, possibly thinking that I was my dad's young wife. LOL We were at the airport once and my dad was buying me bottles of perfume when the cashier tactfully asked for our relationship and I had to call my dad "Papa" so many times because people were giving us looks.

And my friends all think that it is so nice to be going out with your dad because our dads' generation just don't do these kinds of thing!

Ooh...I also go shopping with my dad quite often...as in buying household stuff. Hehe...Sigh...and to the little sprouts' mama: don't worry, your children will understand that their papa loves them very much when they are a little bit older. :)

To all you Chinaman papas out there, go take your kids out la. It's really not that bad! ;)

Googled for image. Love the warmth. Can you feel it? :)

He loves me, he loves me not...

Ahhh...the smell of coffee wafting through the air is the best wake-up call for a non-working Monday! Hehe...yup, that's what you can expect, being a teacher/student, so don't be jealous. LOL

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Anyway, I don't get it with kids these days. They want to grow up fast and they grow up so fast that it scares you. The boyfriend-girlfriend thing in the Year 6 classes is rampant after UPSR. And I am actually surprised that the "smarter" students are especially keen and excited over them. They profess their love and relationship openly on Facebook and in the class. Gosh...I don't know whether to laugh or to shout at them. I mean what's the rush? I hope they are not doing anything else that is not for their age...

Thinking back, my first crush was my best friend in Year One. He's now married to his high-school sweetheart. LOL...yup, we used to play together all the time. Erm...actually, do you even consider that a crush?

I remember my first real crush was on a Indian-Muslim senior when I was in Form 3. Yup, emotionally-late boomer. But I thought it was all right. Of course, I didn't do anything about the crush because I knew nothing would come out of it, and if he had liked me too, I would not go on with a relationship because I knew that studies are more important.

After that, I had a crush on my ICQ friend. And that was when I was in Form Five. I almost started dating him until my mom put a stop to it and that was that. From a young age, I told my dad to match make for me. You know, I always thought that parents know best. And I actually asked my dad for permission to go out on dates and told him the funny things that boys do/talk about when they were courting his youngest daughter. Gosh...I miss those days.

My next huge crush is on my Indian classmate, especially when he was singing and playing the guitar. And I almost had a second date with him until he found out that I was on the verge of going steady with our schoolmate. Shucks... =P

And at the age of 22, I started dating seriously. Yup, I was 22 (not 12!!). My own choice, but after 2 and a half years, we broke up.

Meeting Jimmy at the age of 25, I think my days of crushes and flirting with other guys are over. My dad is happy. His parents are happy. LOL. But, I don't think I'm ready for marriage yet though. Maybe it's because he hasn't asked me properly yet *hint*! Hahaha...

The first time he actually planned for a surprise. 2nd bouquet of flowers after a year plus together (at that time). Hahaha...

Dreading THE day...

Dear all,

Meet Hunter. I was browsing at my photos and I realised that I have not uploaded this photo from a few months ago. And sad to say, this is the only photo I have of that crazy dog because he wouldn't stop moving/twitching/howling when he saw me. He looks beautiful especially when he is running. Jimmy sometimes gets imaginative and says that it is so touching to see Hunter run towards me from very far away when he hears me call his name (ala long-lost Lassie with its owner)...until Hunter crashes so hard into me and then runs away again. LOL.

I am suddenly saddened by the thought that his mother, Baby, might not be with us for long. I just found out that her brother from the same litter suddenly died 4 days ago. Her health has deteriorated rapidly since the beginning of this year. And as you can see from the photo, she has cataract in one eye. Jimmy and myself noticed that in the past two weeks that she may be almost completely blind now as she bangs her head against our legs and follows us everywhere that way. =(

I really can't bear knowing that she may have to leave me soon. My companion for 12 years. I really wouldn't know what to do if I receive the heart-breaking news. God, please, let her be with us for at least another few years. Or, let her leave the world peacefully without much suffering.

Argh...I don't know! I want her to be with me but it is sad to see that she is no longer herself!  Sigh...how do you deal with this kind of loss, or this kind of dread? My family can't understand my feelings. Of course, they love her (as much as they could love a dog). But to them, a dog is just that...a dog. SIGH...

I love you a lot, Baby. I hope you know that even though there are two other dogs around, I still love you best...

Red hot chilli

Ouch...I caught a piece of bomb this morning when the headmistress lined the language teachers up and fired at us from many directions. Amazing, how some people are so skilled at "murdering" - everyone was shot yet no one actually knows who the headmistress was really aiming at. Hahaha...I guess the Malay adage of "siapa makan cili, dia rasa pedas" is true. Though the meeting this morning seemed as though those who didn't taste chilli in the first place felt prickly in their tongues and throats.

But it was obvious that the one person who caught the bomb in her hands before it exploded, so to speak, was my subject supervisor or "ketua panitia". And inadvertently, guess who caught it too before it exploded because she is the secretary? Hahaha...

Funny how some people would want to make a hill out of a mole hill for no reason. I mean, it doesn't benefit her when all the language teachers have to face the firing squad. In fact, it only makes the language teachers dislike her more, since we have also have a mole among the non-language teachers who told us the real reason behind the headmistress' wrath.

True, a handwritten backdrop for the story-telling competition was a little too "cincai", the standard of the participants was too low and the paperwork involved was given out a bit too late. But no one noticed or cared much about the ugly backdrop until the teacher kept saying how lousily it was done for 2 hours to anyone who was present and willing to listen to her (headmistress included). How can we control the standard of the participants? We gave them the stories and speeches 2 months before the competition. Threats and persuasion for the pupils to memorize the stories and speeches didn't get us anywhere, so what else do you want us to do? And I admit, the paperwork was really last minute. My subject supervisor gave me the things late, I gave her the things as soon as I could (which also took at least a day or two), yet it was still. So, there you go. I feel that some of the experienced teachers are also not right in the sense that they were having a jolly good time criticizing new teachers who were unable to do things as good as they did last time.

Sigh...going to go lick my wound now (although Jimmy insisted that I was just sensitive). Haha...what to do? I did eat chilli! :)

Bleak future

Thanks +Ant+ and mNhL for your comments. :) I haven't tried eating grubs although I had plenty of opportunities in China and Thailand. How does it taste, +Ant+?

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Another day of having my body cells die by the millions: what has happened to our children these days? It is sad to know that many children these days are emotionally unstable or just plain spoiled to the point that you wish to blame their rudeness to a less-than-happy family upbringing.

What would you do, parents, if your child tells you that he/she cannot show you the exam paper because the teacher has kept the exam paper from him/her? Would you believe your child and blame the teacher or would you clarify it with the teacher first? Or what would you do as an adult, or put yourself in the shoe of a teacher, if a child tells you that another teacher has asked 4 of them to stay in the class to finish their work when the entire school (inclusive of the said teacher) has to be at the assembly? Would you believe what the child says?

I think many people are blinded by their love/guilt/protectiveness over the child that they would leave their logic behind. I mean, why would the teacher keep the child's paper when he/she has returned all the papers to the others? And, would a small fry of a teacher dare to excuse 4 children from an assembly when even he/she has to attend it?

I am really afraid of how our future leaders would turn out to be. Liars. Rude boors. Spoiled brats. Unthinking generation.

What is your take?

Change your destiny? Dream on...

It is worrying, this thing about life and health. My family is basically a ticking time-bomb. My parents have almost all the hereditary diseases that you can name: heart problem, diabetes, kidney problem, hypertension...so my 3 siblings and I are basically just waiting to catch any of it. I, myself, am waiting to catch the diabetes ball. Well, my mom had diabetes when she was pregnant with me. After I was born, my mom was clear of diabetes for about 3 years. Although, subconsciously, I know that I have to be extra careful with my diet, I could not bring myself to eat the way my mom does...

Today, I am overweight and probably tripled my chances of getting diabetes at a very early age. I got a wake-up call this morning when my most health-conscious sister fainted and the doctor thinks it is most probably diabetes-related. She is only 34. I mean, how unfair can the world be? She is gorgeous, has a great life, eats healthily, exercises regularly and is probably diabetic??!!

What is God's intention? That we should not strive so hard to achieve anything because it can be taken away from us in a blink of an eye? That He has the power to give and to retract? That He loves us all equally and would therefore give us a little impairment in return for the blessings we have received so far?

Well, I don't understand it and I sure as hell do not like it. But what can we mere mortals do, right? To hell with we make our own destiny. It is all in His hands. Have mercy, won't ya mate?

Teacher's D-Day celebration tomorrow

Teacher's Day...how I used to enjoy the celebration at school because that would mean a day without lessons and performances by the pupils for our teachers. I think I stopped giving my teachers presents from Year 4 onwards. I only gave presents to selected teachers - my favourite teacher to this day, Puan Zaiton Mahmud, my favourite spoil-me-rotten Mandarin tuition teacher, Mrs Cheong / Liu Lao Shi and my mentor, my idol of a teacher, Mrs. Mahinder. Other teachers would not get presents from me. I don't remember where and how I got the idea that it is pointless giving teachers presents just for the sake of giving presents.

Fast forward to my first Teacher's Day as a teacher trainee. I got little presents from kids who are strangers to me because the kids thought I was cute (coz I smiled a lot). Second Teacher's Day was also the same, but with more meaning because I have taught the children for about 3 months. I still keep all their gifts, their cards and even their wrapping paper. I cherish the gifts as my first meaningful and really memorable Teacher's Day presents.

My first Teacher's Day as a trained teacher, however, was not so eventful. I didn't mind not having many gifts. I appreciate those who did give me gifts and thoughtful hand-made cards. I still keep them. I didn't mind the celebrations were cut short because it is not the culture of the school to celebrate the whole day. At least an hour of the day must be used for teaching. I minded the fact that the Teacher's Day Dinner was done in a not-so-happy manner. We heard that the President of the PTA complained that the teachers were only good at eating and not working. Hmmm... it didn't really bothered me then because I was rather new.

This year, however, Teacher's Day celebration is going to be a full-blown whole day affair. Teachers are complaining about the extra work that they have to do because of the celebration. (No wonder the complain I heard last year) To not attend the dinner, it is as though we do not give face, to go for the dinner, we are 'only good at eating and not at working'. Hmmm...dilemma, dilemma.

I keep telling my family, you know what is the best teacher's day gift? Let us off for the day. Let us enjoy the celebration like the workers do on Labour's Day. 'So many school holidays, still not enough?' you ask? If you think we are asking too much, then no need to celebrate Teacher's Day lo. It is like the idea of Mother's Day and Father's Day. I don't see the point in celebrating and appreciating these people only a day in a year.

Sigh...tomorrow's celebration is going to be a BLAST...I just hope I'll survive it...

Tidiness vs Cleanliness

I admit that I am an extremely untidy person. Those who have stayed with me would know that I have things strewn all over my room. But, I must say, although my room is messy, I do clean up my room. I am quite particular about cleanliness, just not the tidiness. :P

I normally become very particular about tidiness when my stress level is very high. Then, I will throw a lot of things, drag a lot of things out and tidy them up. Of course, almost every time after I do that, I will regret later because I would find a lot of new things which I have kept for a long time and got new ones because I forgot about them, and also because I wouldn't be able to find the things that I normally would be able to find when everything is everywhere.

I really don't know how Jimmy is taking my untidiness. He is almost as messy as I am, but I am better than he is in the sense that at least I clean up! :P But then, I dislike the fact that people complain about my messiness. Hey, I am living in it and I don't/didn't ask you to live in my mess! So, what gives you the right to complain? Anyway, if you don't like it, don't look at it la. What's your probrem? That's why I get very agitated and offended when my current housemates complain about the many things in my room. "Suka hati gua la! U blow ar?"I wish to shout at them when they say my room is messy.

Sigh~~ unfortunately, the past few weeks have made me look at the state of my room (and the state of my school table) and smile shyly coz they are really in a mess!! So, before I go and study for my exam this Friday, I'm gonna clean it up! Will show you the after picture when I've cleaned it up. :P

P/S: Don't complain! I'm just showing it to you to share. You don't have the right to complain. :P

My table full of unmarked books due to the Sports Day rehearsal.

My untidy working table with my coffee mug, printer and what nots.

My unmade bed because I was almost late this morning.

The worst, most untidy part of the room. Gosh...mandarin oranges from February! Ewwww...

Haha...phew..that is relieving...I'll show you the after pictures in a few days...watch out for the transformation. :)

I Love Malaysia

I had the opportunity to be a part of the pilot programme of Sahabat 1Malaysia. I don't know if I am allowed to blog about it, so I'll just go briefly over.

It was an amazing experience. I was surprised actually that so many of our Malay friends are so unlike the ignorant, attention-grabbing politicians that we have and actually dislike the politicians as much as the non-Malays. All this while, the questions burning in my heart were buried because we can never know who we can discuss racial issues with with an open mind. Some may look as though they are open-minded but in actual they are not. This course, however, gathered selected people who are educated and objective during discussions.

I have yet to have the guts to ask questions that are truly sensitive. I don't think some people can accept my questions. Just as my fellow non-Malays who cannot accept the historical fact that our grandparents' grandparents came to this land to earn money to be sent home to their families back in China/India. I must stress that although it is a historical fact, over the years, our forefathers had settled down here and MADE THIS THEIR HOME. And like my facilitator said, MALAYSIA IS NOT MALAYSIA WITHOUT THE CHINESE, THE INDIANS AND THE OTHER RACES. So, even though history showed that our forefathers may not be loyal to this land and the king, it changed along the way and many of us if not all of the previous generation and this generation and our generations to come are Setia kepada Raja dan Negara (loyal to the King and contry).

Our country should be run by people like my facilitator, not ignorant fools who see the world through narrow eyes and speak without processing.

I love this country. I love the people. I love the food. I love the culture. I love the differences that we have and the similarities that we share. I am trying to do what I can to neutralize the deep dislike in some people about our country. I am trying to spread the word and the love for our country. I am trying to clarify the many misunderstandings created by our ignorant politicians at the grassroots. I am trying my best to make this beloved country of mine peaceful for me, my family, my children and my children's children too.

Enjoy this beautiful and meaningful song from the late Sudirman. Brings tears to my eyes (although Jimmy shakes his head not comprehending). ^_^

Warisan

Di sini lahirnya sebuah cinta
Yang murni abadi sejati
Di sini tersemai cita-cita
Bercambah menjadi warisan

* Andaiku terbuang tak diterima
Andai aku disingkirkan
Ke mana harusku bawakan
Ke mana harusku semaikan cinta ini

Betapa
Di bumi ini ku melangkah
Ke utara selatan timur dan barat
Ku jejaki

Aku
Bukanlah seorang perwira
Gagah menjunjung senjata
Namun hati rela berjuang
Walau dengan cara sendiri
Demi cinta ini

(ulang *)Ku ingin kotakan seribu janji
Sepanjang kedewasaan ini
Ku ingin sampaikan pesanan
Akulah penyambung warisan

Funny but true...

Read this in an e-mail and couldn't help smiling. :) Jimmy, study this carefully!

NINE WORDS THAT WOMEN USE:
1. FINE: Used to end an argument and cue for you to shut up.

2.5 MINUTES: Depending on situation. If she wants you to wait for 5 minutes, it could mean 5 minutes or half an hour. If she tells you that you have 5 minutes, it means 5 minutes.

3.NOTHING: The calm before the storm. You should be on your toes. (Arguments normally start with NOTHING and ends with FINE)

4.GO AHEAD: It is a dare, not a permission. DON'T DO IT!

5.LOUD SIGH: In women's vocabulary, it is a word full of meanings but often misunderstood by men. A loud sigh means that she thinks you are an idiot and she wonders why she is wasting her time and effort arguing with you about NOTHING (Refer No.3).

6.THAT's OK: The most dangerous phrase a woman can say to a man. She is thinking long and hard how to make you pay for what you have done.

7. THANKS: Just accept it. Don't question it. Reply with a courteous "You're Welcome"

8. WHATEVER: A woman's way of saying FU** YOU!!!

9.DON'T WORRY ABOUT IT, I'LL DO IT: Another dangerous statement, meaning there is something that she has asked you to do several times but is now doing it herself. This will normally result in you asking her "What's wrong?" for which she will respong NOTHING. THEN YOU SHOULD RUN!

Jumbled thoughts

Holding onto anger is like grasping a hot coal with the intention of throwing it at someone else. You are the one who gets burned.- Buddha

Phew..the past two weeks had been horrible. With 3 assignments due, exam in school, teaching and clerical job...I was in a wreck. The worst part of it is that your hard work is not appreciated. This year, I got a heck lot of responsibility. And my direct superior has not been helpful at all by asking me to do a lot of nonsensical or small stuff that she could have done herself. Is this her way of showing her superiority? While doing what she has asked of me, she would be constantly at my back saying that what she had wanted me to do, she needed urgently. When I have given her what she had wanted, she scrunched up her face and said that it was not good enough! Dang!

On top of that, I was starving myself like no body's business. One, because I was on a diet; two because I didn't have the mood to eat; and three because I didn't have much of a choice. The shops that are walking distance from my place has been exhausted. I can tell you that I am super sick of old town white coffee and almost completely sick of McD. To drive out for food is also another headache because of parking and the fact that I don't know what to eat. I suppose it's the syndrome for having too much to choose from. Ironic, right? :)

So, with all the stress of work, studies and no food, I've been picking fights with people around me, namely Jimmy. Poor fellow had been taking nonsense from me for the entire 3 months now. Which reminds me, working and studying part time is really difficult. I kind of regret taking up masters now, but then again, it has been great experience (enjoyable too) to be able to learn new things and know that I am improving myself in some way. :)

Phew, am I glad that it is the holidays now. Maybe now I can practise to be a forgiving person now. I just hope that I don't see the woman when I get back to school tomorrow. Hahaha...

Jiawen is sick...cough cough

Hello everybody. Phew...keeping up to my resolution is truly difficult. By the 3rd week, I'm burnt out, and as you can see from the title, I've fallen sick by the fourth week. I really don't know how people cope with stress and virtually not much rest. I am a sleep addict. If I don't get my daily eight to 10 hours of sleep, I fall sick. Luckily, this time around, I am hit by my favourite sick bug, fever. Hehe...yeah...some of you would wonder why I have a favourite sick bug. It is because I hardly ever have fever before I work in my current school. I always get the flu, which does not guarantee a medical certificate and makes it difficult for me to sleep at night. I used to get migraines, which guarantees a medical certificate but makes me feel vomittish and makes me want to guillotine my own head to make me feel better. Fever, on the other hand, guarantees a medical certificate and allows you to sleep and sleep and sleep. Get it?

But, my on and off fever is making me feel all wonky. I have alternately felt the chills and sweat that I don't even know whether I am sweating because of the heat or because of the fever and feeling the chills because of the fever or because the fan is blowing at me. But at least I have an excuse to sleep and sleep and sleep...poor sleep-deprived creature that I was. Hahahaha...

Anyway, Jimmy and I have decided that his time to be the baby is over now that I am down with fever, so he has been my slave for the past 2 days. Buy me dinner, bring my medicine to me, be my temperature checker sometimes, be my chauffeur and...and...hmm...need to think of more tasks for him to do. Hahaha..

2 days off work has made me a bit relieved but I don't think the teachers in school took it well. "Young teachers these days keep taking MC, I've worked for ten over years and I never took a day's MC" I heard some time last year after one of my bouts of migraine. Well, aunty, you are built of stronger stuff ma...younger generation these days grew up on chemicals and are so pampered that if a dust flew into their lungs, they get pneumonia. You think we enjoy getting sick? Erm...let me rephrase that, you think we are so lucky that if we want to be just sick enough to not go to school, we get it? Hahaha...

Ok...I am skipping my masters class today also. Feel so dizzy that I don't trust myself to be able to take the public transport to UM and to my faculty. Cross my fingers that nothing very important is being taught. Gotta read up lots coz next week is another test. SIGH...

Resolutions...to keep or to throw? Let's keep it in view first. Haha

Busy busy year!

Phew...Happy New Year everyone! So, how was your first day at school (to the teachers and students)? Mine was surprisingly quite all right. Except of course the part where I got the class that I specifically requested not to teach. Haha...well, we can't have everything our way, now can we?

Overall, I suppose I should be happy with my classes. It's better than Vilo's anyway, Years 2 to 6 English and Year One BM, not to mention other "lighter" subjects! Whoa...My classes this year are English, BM, Arts and Phys. Ed. I also got the very important position of Setiausaha Kokurirulum. Yay! Not to mention being the leader for RIMUP and the secretary of BM panel. Gosh... I love the job of a teacher. We really need to be omniscient and multitask and live, drink, eat, sleep teaching life! Woo hoot!!

Sigh...the life of a working adult. You thought studying was torturous? Hahaha...well, at least being a teacher means I still get to take off days like a student! :P Enjoy the rest of the month!

Jiawen is emo~

Dear all,

It's the holidays again. Ironically, instead of feeling happy or excited, my holidays have started off wrongly. Perhaps I am just too demanding, or comparing too much. What is it that they say? The grass is always greener on the other side. Yes, that's it. How can I not compare my situation when I am so unhappy now? Yes, I count my blessings too. But humans are always not contented, aren't we? And isn't it that when we want something that we will strive to achieve and thus improve ourselves?

So what is it this time that I am unhappy?

Well, I am unhappy that my mother thinks that I waste my time. First day of the holidays, and I was reading a storybook in my room. When I finished, I came out and my mom gave me this disgusted look and said that I was wasting my time, not knowing that I have been awake for a few hours already.

I am unhappy that Jimmy is always unhappy. There is nothing that I can do to make it otherwise for him and I'm quite annoyed with myself. I mean, I know that when you are unhappy, the world is supposed to bow to you but...

I am unhappy that I am fat and I can't seem to bring myself to lose the weight.

I am unhappy that money seems to vaporise when you are earning your own living.

I am unhappy that I get cheated all the time... be it magazine subscription, broadband, books. I hate cheating Malaysians...may they rot in hell.

I am unhappy that my life is not as happening, or as sweet as others'.

I am unhappy that I am unhappy when I should be contented and happy.

I am unhappy. So help! Make my day!