Sunday, July 02, 2006

If you have nothing nice to say...

"Is he really your son ar? Really, really your son? Waaa...what happened to him? What did you feed him with?" Those were the blunt statements made to my brother and my parents last night when we were at my parents' school reunion dinner. So, brother looks a bit old and has put on some weight since his school days but couldn't those old folks just keep their bloody mouth shut?? It makes me hurt to hear those statements, what more my brother. Sure, he laughs it off, my parents laugh it off, but can you imagine the humiliation of hearing those words?
I remember a stupid statement made at me too when I was in Standard 4 and I still don't like the so-called auntie of mine. It was Gongxi Raya, so I was wearing my baju kurung to visit relatives and she kept insisting that I am not my parents' child. happened 12 years ago and I can still vividly remember the anger and hurt that I felt. My brother got so many blows yesterday and many other times that I feel so sorry for him.
I guess these people are just a shallow lot. I have many friends who does that too. "'ve put on so much weight! What happened to you?" This seemed to be the standard opening sentence whenever I meet up with my old friends. Heck, I know I've put on weight! I've got a mirror! What could possibly make people grow fat? If you don't know, then you are so darn dumb. Want me to borrow a primary school science text book from my pupil and let you read it? You poor, poor dumbo! Can you even read?
Like, hello?? If you have nothing nice to say, don't say anything at all. Didn't your parents or teachers teach you that? It always hurts when you hear criticisms or remarks that highlight your weakness/flaws. People don't get used to it. Sure, they may laugh it off, but put yourselves in their shoes: do unto others what you want others to do unto you. Yeah, you may feel good about yourself coz you are "better-off" than the person being critisized in some areas, but there are other qualities that the person may possess that you lack. Just some of the qualities that you definitely lack are finesse, politeness and what we Chinese call "xiu yang" which roughly translated means good manners. Yes, compliment people's looks if you sincerely think that the person looks good but silence is always preferred to a blatant lie or an honest opinion.
Truth is, there are so many more other interesting topics to talk about than one's looks. Talk about books, music, movies, world events...the topic you choose reflects the knowledge that you possess. But if you still choose the ways of the shallow people, stay away from me. Or don't blame me if I smile sweetly at you and say "Oh yes, I have put on weight. You on the other hand have grown uglier/ dumber..what happened to you?"

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