Wednesday, December 03, 2008

I love hugs

~Sigh~ I so do love hugs... and I just realised this not too long ago. It is not just me. Melwin has been feeling the same way too ever since she came back from Sabah. Too bad it is not in the Chinese culture to hug. Of the Chinese I've hugged, I think my aunt and cousin (love you lots, ah yi and Ashley!) are the only family members (ooh..and Willie). Heck, I hugged my friends' fathers and mothers and aunts and sisters but never hugged my own! I did attempt a half-hug with my father when he gave me my car but I don't recall him hugging me back. And my eldest sister's first hug for me was when she was leaving for UK and I stood there like a log feeling disgusted at being hugged. Hahahaha...that is/was the culture of my family.


Growing up imagining myself being open minded made me enjoy hugs. Somehow the hugs were only shared amongst the ones who went to national primary schools. Very rarely were hugs given to those who went to Chinese primary school unless they were really really close to you. I think the only one whom I hugged from Chinese primary school was Yoke Thing on her 21st birthday. And I remember her feeling awkward because she wasn't expecting a hug. Haha..or maybe it was just me giving her an awkward hug. :P


And then in Maktab days where my closest friends are Indians, I embraced the culture of hugging. Meeting someone after a long time *hugs*, before leaving *hugs*, family members *hugs*, just so that you know you are important and loved *hugs*...Before being posted and separated from my dearest friends, I had thought that it was some kind of obligation or habit for people to hug for no apparent reason. But I have since realised that it is not an obligation or a habit, it is just a need and a rather effective way of showing that you care...


I've been really lucky that I have been able to meet up with many of my closer ex-coursemates over the past 2 weeks. And I had a glimpse of the very different culture of the 3 main races in our beloved country:


My first outing was with Daus, Aisyah, Azee, Hakimi, Apai, Ikin, Sarah, Is (and Nana) and Vilo. Yup, a rather muhibbah outing we had at KLCC. Even though I was not close to some of them, we met and shared the particular 3-time hugs of the Malays. And even though it looked like standard hugs, the different levels of affection could be felt. For me, it is very natural to hug the one I am closest to or am friendliest with first before hugging those whom I am not that close to. And the ones I am closer to will hear the "muah, muah, muahs" while those whom I am not close to will just feel me doing the obligatory three time hug. Haha... Of course, religion and culture dictate that guys and girls shalt not hug (or touch) each other, so this "culture" was only exchanged among the girls. I would not mind giving Daus a hug though...hahahahahhaha...he's such a great friend! Besides the hugs, it was great to be able to meet and chat with them about everything and nothing again. And to go to the Skybridge together (the ticket collector was surprised that Vilo and I were together with them). Too bad Daus and Aisyah want to keep our photos close to their hearts and do not want to share them with others *hint*. ;P


The second outing I went to was with the Indian girls...the ones whom I almost always went out with. I am very bad but I would always try to hug the person that I miss most first even though it would be out of the way. So, without noticing it, I (kind of) ignored the person who was standing closest to me and went and hugged Melwin first. The Indian hug is different from the Malay hug that it is only done once but is felt by intensity. So, if I hug Vilo (hahaha) it would be a tight squeeze as opposed to me giving the obligatory hug to erm...Vilo's aunt. Great fun to be with the girls again...Mindy, Vilo and Melwin, we should go bowling and watch movie again soon! Miss chatting with you gals and laughing for no apparent reason! Haha...


The third outing which lasted for almost a week was with the Chinese gals. Siaw Hui, Hwa Cheat, Sin Yuan and Woon were in KL. And guess what? No hugs at all. Hahaha...we just waved and stood awkwardly saying hi to each other even though we are quite close, closer than I am to the Malay girls, at least! I only hugged Sophia and Dasha in the outing but not with any of the others who joined us after that...Ming Keat, Mei Ju...It's a little sad because now I regret not giving them a hug. But something about the culture holds us back... Chinese just don't hug...


Like, the culture in Chinese school is to stay away from the teachers. The children just don't want to get to know the teachers better. It is very different from national school children who would love to be closer to their teachers. The Yr 6 graduation ceremony is so stiff and awkward compared to the time when we left our practical school with hugs and kisses from the children. Sigh...it is sad that we don't adopt some of the better cultures of other races. Perhaps one day...one day, Malaysia will be truly be made up of Malaysians...

6 comments:

Viloshena said...

Yes its very true J..its only now that i too realise wat hug can really..do it makes us feel so much closer to each other...n each time i hug u ,mel n linesh i feel so wanted like the world is wit me and i know that no matter wat situation i m in u ppl will always be there for me... don let ur father know abt this n me hugging u k..he mite freak out...hahahahahha n stop u frm meeting me....


P/s: like the part abt my aunts laughed like hell after reading it!!

P/s

Viloshena said...

Yes its very true J..its only now that i too realise wat hug can really..do it makes us feel so much closer to each other...n each time i hug u ,mel n linesh i feel so wanted like the world is wit me and i know that no matter wat situation i m in u ppl will always be there for me... don let ur father know abt this n me hugging u k..he mite freak out...hahahahahha n stop u frm meeting me....


P/s: like the part abt my aunts laughed like hell after reading it!!

P/s

lil' Munchkin said...

hugs??!!!
very sad as i missed the moment....huhu.

lotsofhugs.......:)

melwin kaur said...

we should get daus to hug u...
hehehe he will kill us if he ever reads this....

i guess hugging creates a bond...it makes u feel belonged

being far away in sabah...i was imagining how will i meet my family when i come back..n i kept telling myself i am going to hug them even though in my family its not a custom...

but yes i do like the idea of hugging nowadays...it's just sweet..!

Jiawen said...

Vilo: Dun la announce your love for me so openly! hahahahahahahahaha

Lil' Munchkin: Promise you lots of hugs when we meet, k?

Mel: Have you hugged your family yet? M planning to surprise my family by giving them big hugs for no reason. But my dad has a heart problem... ;)

didie said...

A piece of affecting writing, i don't know but somehow after all of us have parted, the hugging seems so meaningful to me. When i hugged u guys the other day, it feels like i'm going to wait for a long time for the next one...n when i encountered so many ups n downs the last 4 months, i did think i need hugs from fatihah bcoz she is huggable..haha!!!

miss u n miss everyone so much..

hug from daus?hahaha!!!i hope brian is not reading this..kihkihh...