Good Bye 2009!

Wow...too soon, the year 2009 is coming to an end. Looking back, I think I've done quite a lot this year:

1.Starting at a much bigger school in town, I've taught, learnt and decided that giving my all to a bunch of ingrates is not worth it at all. :P

2. I've learnt to be more money-savvy. Every sen counts when you earn your own living and are trying to survive without financial aid from your family.

3. I've learnt to be less naive. Office politics...sometimes, rumours have to be believed.

4. I've learnt that it is a great feeling to be loved, and I truly appreciate it this year. I realize now that I don't have to go against my family to find true happiness. :)

5. I've learnt that we have to take the initiative to meet up with old friends, to do things. We are in control of our lives. Sometimes, we cannot just wait for things to happen

Any resolutions for the new year? Well, I do. For the next year, I vow to:

1. Stop procrastinating.

2. Take initiative to do things.

3. Live healthily...my cholesterol level is way high for my age, not to mention my weight. Hehehe...

Only 3 resolutions this year. Don't want to get over my head with too many changes. :)

HAPPY NEW YEAR EVERYONE!!

One of my dreams came true

Yay...here's an update of a dream of mine that came true on 11th December 2009. Ever since I could remember, I had wanted to go ice skating with my good friends and they kept ignoring me. So, on the 11th December, during our reunion, we finally did it. Linesh insisted that the first thing that we do at Sunway Pyramid was to go to the ice skating rink. So, confidently the four of us went to the ice skating rink. As we were there looking down, the three of us (Mel, Vilo and I) began to chicken out. Linesh on the other hand, insisted that we go and get the tickets. Why did we chicken out? Well, because the people on the ice skating rink were either teenagers or parents of young children. We were neither here nor there and it was truly intimidating considering that none of us knows how to skate!

So, putting on a brave face, we went to get our rather expensive tickets, socks and gloves. Then, when we went to get our shoes, Linesh freaked out. Haha...how were we supposed to balance ourselves on the thin blades?

After putting on our skates, we practised on the carpet. My one-time experience back in 1999 came back to me. Lock your knees and bend a little, I kept telling them. Marching to the ice, I put one foot in and slid. Hahahaha...fortunately, I caught myself and went back to the carpeted area. Saw a little girl and asked her to show us how to get in. Before we could see what she was doing, she was already off. Hmm...

Putting on a brave face, I led the girls and went in again. Experience had given me an advantage and I could pretty well balance myself on the ice. I needed to hold on to the side because I was afraid of falling. Linesh came behind me, followed by Melwin and I thought I caught a glimpse of Vilo after her. As I was "teaching" Linesh how to balance herself on the ice, I went further and further away from her. Linesh and Melwin were practically hanging on to dear life on the side. They were blocking the way for a whole bunch of people who came behind them and Linesh was shouting, asking them to find a way to get around them because she is not moving! Hahahaha...

It was really comical to think about it now, but at that time, we were just regretting getting on the ice. Vilo had wisely gone in the rink for 2 minutes and reversed her way out. So, with Linesh left further and further behind me because I do not know how to reverse, I tried to finish the round as fast as I could. However, Linesh and Melwin were helplessly blocking a lot of people. Miraculously, at one point, I reversed and was close enough to talk to Linesh. She looked up at me and thought that she had reached me! Hahaha...

After trying to guide her through (she said afterwards that she didn't understand what I was telling her), I left them behind again and finished the entire round. Ithink it took me about 20 minutes to go through the entire round. After getting off the ice, I sat down with Vilo and waited. And waited. And waited. Finally, after about 15 minutes, Linesh and Melwin emerged.

We rested for about ten minutes and told each other that the time we spent on the ice was worth the $$ we spent on the tickets. After that, we just took photos of us with our skates on the carpet. Hey, gotta really make the money worth right? Haha...fun day over all, although bodies ache like grandma's later that day. Should do it again, girls! :)

How I spent one week of my holiday

Dear all,

Holiday has finally started for me. I was at school for the past two weeks, trying to drill subject-verb agreement and sentence construction techniques to 90 unwilling students who were forced to go back to school while the others are on holiday. Hehe...

So anyway, what have I been doing for the past two weeks besides torturing myself and the kids? My housemate, Y, was feeling lonely, so we went out almost everyday of the second week because my other housemate (i.e. her usual companion) went to Sabah. So on Monday, we went to Sungei Wang by bus+monorail at 5 and walked aimlessly til 930 p.m. before proceeding to Jogoya, Starhill. The Japanese restaurant was (is) having a promotion buffet supper which starts at 940 and ends at 12 midnight. The 2nd person is only charged RM10+. So anyway, we felt so out of place in Sg. Wang! Haha..talk about feeling old! And we pigged out at the rather posh-looking Jogoya until 1130 p.m. Y can really eat! I mean, she was eating almost non-stop for the 2 hours that we were there - oysters, mussels, crabs, fish, grilled meat, desserts! I made the mistake of getting myself a Japanese hand-roll very early on, so I stopped eating after an hour. But I walked around and took a lot of drinks and snacks for Y! Haha..she was smiling from ear to ear while eating. I think I ate RM 30 worth of prawns that night! Haha..I love my prawns! After stuffing ourselves full, we went for a short walk around Pavillion. The Christmas deco is beautiful. Jimmy came to pick us up and I slept almost immediately. Pig, I know.

The next day, I felt so awful that I slept through the afternon after class. I didn't have anything for breakfast and lunch save a glass of coffee because I was still stuffed from the night before. :-/ When I woke up, Y forced me to have some thing to eat so we went to SS2 and stuffed ourselves with dessert.

The next day, I went for medical check up at a private hospital. I wanted to go to UM Hospital, but the queue was horrible!! So I spent 4 x of what you would spend at a private clinic for a normal medical check up. But everything was completed within an hour. The report was to be picked up the next day, but I haven't gone to pick it up yet. Hehe... My other housemate, M came back that afternoon, so I thought I would have a break from Y, but M needed to go shopping and she didn't have transport, so Super JW was there to save the day. Parking in Mid Valley is a nightmare. We went round for almost 45 minutes looking for a parking. I normally give up within the first 15 minutes, but M needed to buy her wedding stuff. Shopping with my housemates is not something that I can take for more than 2 hours in 3 months. I don't think it is the lack of money issue with them but they are extremely careful with their money but at the same time curious of every little thing that is in the store. You know what I mean? It is quite tiring actually to go with people who have different styles when you go shopping. I can't shop with my mom because she doesn't look at the things that I like to look at and her taste and mine are different. And as she grew older, she loses her patience as well. So anyway, I was saved from further torture by my date with Jimmy at 7. I went back to pick them up at 11 p.m., an hour later than I promised because Jimmy and I were stuck at the place that we were at.

My final day of tuition was spent happily. I was lazy to go in for the first period, so Y took over. I lazed on the bed for a record 3 hours before getting my bum out of the bed and get ready for school. 2 hours later, I was ready for another round of going out with my 2 housemates, knowing fully well that I have to leave them earlier like the day before. Y had wanted to go for a karaoke session ages ago and we were finally going. Because of the price factor, she had chosen Gbox. Neither of us has been there, so we were quite excited about it. Y booked for 3 o'clock and started washing her clothes while waiting for M to come back from her chores. By the time M came back it was 2+ and Y was still washing her clothes. By the time we left the house, it was almost 3 and we were "surprisingly" stuck in the jam. We reached Sg Wang at 3.50 and M wanted to have something to eat. We chose a restaurant that looked quite empty and ordered. We didn't know that the restaurant had another section and it was actually quite crowded. We got our food at 4+ and by the time we finished, it was almost 430. When we went to Gbox, we had to book a room again. And we had to wait til 5. ANother round of aimless walk around Sg Wang later, we finally got into a pathetic small room. Seriously, it's PATHETIC. Pay a little extra and you get better service in other karaoke lounges. So, anyway, when M and I were getting our drinks, Jimmy called and said that he'd be there to pick me up in 15 minutes. Hmm..I just paid my share adn got my drink and haven't even sung yet and it was time to go? Jimmy and I had a miscommunication and dinner was supposed to be at 7, not him picking me up at 7. So, after 2 songs, I left the two of them to go for dinner with Jimmy's parents and client. I tell you, Chinese really eat well. And they would rather the food go to waste just to show that they can afford it. Gosh...5 of us and we ate about RM 600 + worth of food??

So anyway, that's just part of the week of holiday. More later...sorry Ashley, forgot to post this one after typing and I have lost my train of thoughts. Hehe..have fun!

Jiawen is emo~

Dear all,

It's the holidays again. Ironically, instead of feeling happy or excited, my holidays have started off wrongly. Perhaps I am just too demanding, or comparing too much. What is it that they say? The grass is always greener on the other side. Yes, that's it. How can I not compare my situation when I am so unhappy now? Yes, I count my blessings too. But humans are always not contented, aren't we? And isn't it that when we want something that we will strive to achieve and thus improve ourselves?

So what is it this time that I am unhappy?

Well, I am unhappy that my mother thinks that I waste my time. First day of the holidays, and I was reading a storybook in my room. When I finished, I came out and my mom gave me this disgusted look and said that I was wasting my time, not knowing that I have been awake for a few hours already.

I am unhappy that Jimmy is always unhappy. There is nothing that I can do to make it otherwise for him and I'm quite annoyed with myself. I mean, I know that when you are unhappy, the world is supposed to bow to you but...

I am unhappy that I am fat and I can't seem to bring myself to lose the weight.

I am unhappy that money seems to vaporise when you are earning your own living.

I am unhappy that I get cheated all the time... be it magazine subscription, broadband, books. I hate cheating Malaysians...may they rot in hell.

I am unhappy that my life is not as happening, or as sweet as others'.

I am unhappy that I am unhappy when I should be contented and happy.

I am unhappy. So help! Make my day!

A Post for Hunter

I have a lot of work to do this weekend...typing out a piece of what-I-think-is-a-waste-of-paper document, marking 3 classes' test papers, marking some books that I lugged home, spending time with my family, resting...yet I was reading the book "Marley and Me" that I bought some time in March. I was tickled silly by the antics of Marley, even though I watched the movie.

Reading about Marley made me think about Hunter. Who, you ask? Remember Baby's last batch of cute puppies?

Yup, I had wanted to keep the laziest puppy I named Trevor. I kept it. After a few weeks, however, we decided that Trevor did not suit him. My whole family called him "Hantu" because he yelps and howls and barks whenever some one is near. And he is naughty. I mean really NAUGHTY. So, since my family kept calling him "Hantu", he kind of thought it was his name. And, I decided to change a little bit of the pronunciation so as not to confuse him, and call him "Hunter". Macho name what...

Yup..this is the face which melted my (and my family's) heart...

Amazingly, since the maid came and I was always not around. Hunter grew up to be not too close to me. Nevertheless, I am still the only one that he would jump up to greet and the only one he would howl a melody for when I return. However, his antics (milder than Marley's case, of course) had made him the most unwelcome living thing in the house. He digs holes eventhough he has been punished for it many times. He jumps up (only on me now) to greet. He bangs your face, aiming for your lips with his nose eventhough he is beaten many times for that. He runs out every time you open the gate. He howled until his voice is hoarse now.

And perhaps because I don't spend as much time with him, he is neglected by me. When he went missing for a few days the other time, my whole family was worried yet relieved at the same time. And can you believe that I have not taken any photo of him from the days of puppy-dom? I mean, I have so many photos of Baby and Charlie when they were younger. I stopped taking photos only last year because I don't know how to upload them to the laptop and my charger was missing and since I bought a new one, is with Jimmy.

I mean, I think Hunter is mentally unstable. Could be due to the mom's old age when she gave birth to the litter. Do you know that he doesn't know how to pee properly? He would walk around and suddenly stop and the next thing you know, he's peeing and he doesn't even squat a little like Charlie does, so he ends up spraying his front legs. Eeewww...and his old mom would sometimes still lick his pee or eat his crap as though he was still a 2 month old puppy. And the heartbreaking thing is that Baby is now the lowest in the dog-hierarchy. Her ingrate of a son would growl and bite the mom when she is eating what he deemed is his. The mom would also try to teach her son to not to get into trouble by nipping his ears or head when he has done something wrong but would end up being bitten by that rebellious son of hers. And the best part is that the crazy dog would look as happy as a looney when seconds earlier he was beaten by my father for a wrong doing.

He loves the rain. He loves to use his head to bang any part of your body. He loves to crash into you with his whole body when you are petting another dog. He bites his own tail to the point that it is bald. He uses his brute strength to pull on his chain and chokes himself in the process. He eats 3 adults' portions daily and is still hungry all the time.

I mean, I feel bad for him sometimes. As much as I think I love him, I could not bring myself to bond with him as much as I used to do with Baby and Charlie. He is uncontrollable. Sometimes in the evening, I'd bring Charlie out to ease himself, I'd play with Charlie and Baby for a while. And Hunter would look forlorn and wag his tail sadly. I'd let him go to join in the fun but he'd just crash into me or the other two and spoil the fun for everyone. So, chained up again, he would be. I really don't know how John Grogan and his family tolerated with Marley's behaviour. I mean, it must be taxing as marley lives in the house! But then again, I don't know if I can bring myself to put Hunter to sleep. So, he's born mentally unstable...doesn't he deserve a life, too? Who are we to decide that he should end his life much earlier than God intended?

Hmm..maybe I'll try to upload some photos of him next weekend when I'm not so busy... :)

The matter with fish...

Haha...thanks Melwin!

This week had been hectic. I was supposed to set the question for Year 4 BM this time around. And as I am a procrastinator, I did the work only last weekend. I completed setting the questions last Sunday. I finished the work quite quickly because I had already chosen the questions beforehand.

As the exam is only a week away, I thought I could send my papers for photocopying by the past Monday after being checked by the person-in-charge. Unfortunately, I did not trust the person-in-charge. The person has a reputation of not being responsible. So, what I did was probably not right but I did not think that it was wrong at that time. I showed my questions to my subject supervisor. This subject supervisor(SS) of mine had my utmost respect and admiration.

So anyway, the person-in-charge looked very worried when she came to see me. She told me that her pupils told her that they had done the essay before in their tuititon class conducted by my SS. My SS had actually mentioned it and I thought it was all right as the questions are all almost the same. But what made me wonder was why all of a sudden the pupils told the person-in-charge that they have done the question before.

I mean, I was sorely disappointed! What has become of the professionalism of teachers these days? I mean, it is very normal to want to help your own students, but to tell them the questions? Or even to remind them which essay that they have done to memorize! Isn't that against the whole teaching principal? As the teacher-in-charge to set the question, I did not tell the pupils which ones to look into. You know the whole concept of teach someone to fish rather than giving them a fish?

SIGH~~~

I am very naive. And slow. My housemates who joined the school with me seemed to know who is trustworthy in school and who we should be wary of WAYYYYY before I did. The life of a common man...is there no one you can trust at your work place?

On a happier note, once the exams are over, I can't wait for the arrival of the holidays in peace!! Can't wait. Hehe...gotta go to bed early today for LADAP tomorrow. Night night people!

Enjoy the mid-autumn festival!

Haha...hey, I still have visitors to the blog! Thanks Willie! And...I was multitasking (kind of)... Playing game, blogging and erm...thinking about doing my work! Haha....

So anyway, after blogging yesterday, I managed to finish 25% of one of my work. Good lah...considering that I was on the verge of not doing anything at all.

What do I have to do on this Mid-Autumn Festival? Not that it is a tradition for my family to celebrate it, but it would be nice if you could spend it with your loved ones, wouldn't it? Unfortunately, I had to go back to school for some training this morning. So, off to school at 7 in the morning. After 3 hours of rather interesting talk about story-telling, I got restless and started yakking with my housemate. I could no longer take it when the speakers asked us to do group work. I mean, although it is interesting, we know that we will not be able to apply any of it in a classroom of 40. So, what did I do? I skipped the final hour. It is not good...but I think I wasted enough time.

The journey home was quite slow because of massive jam everywhere. I guess a lot of people still spend the day with their families. When I called one of my loved ones, he was more interested to spend the time with his friends. My sister, on the other hand, needs to be with her in-laws...So, in the end, I am going to spend the day with my TRUE loves - my parents and my DOGS. But I also need to spend it with something that I do not love at all, which is my work. Haha...

Well, another nonsensical blog post...which by the way, should be the title for this blog. I mean, I don't have many sensical stuff to talk about anyway. Hehe...have a happy mid-autumn festival!

To-do or not-to-do?

I have been sitting in front of the laptop for approximately 4 hours now and I haven't even started with the work that I am supposed to do. Gosh...seriously, at this rate, I am never going to finish any of my work today. O, thou evil internet games! :)

I am trying to be more disciplined. Professionally, I have picked up a lot of bad habits which is not very good. Personally, well, I need to make good use of my time. After all, youth will not always be with me. So, help me out, whoever who is still reading this...what do I need? Checklist? To-do list? Files? My to-do list always has at least 5 or 6 things to do every day, and I could only complete maybe 1 item or 3 items a day. What am I supposed to list down in my to-do list? I have many goals...work-wise and to be a better person kind of thing. So my normal to-do list would look something like this:

1. Drink 8 glasses of water

2. Finish marking 46 pieces of karangan

3. Type out the meeting minutes

4. Photocopy notes

5. EXERCISE

And then, at best, I'd complete item number 3 and the rest will just go into the next day's to-do list. Haha...what am I doing wrong, I wonder?

Erm...time management? Maybe...but 24hours a day is simply not enough. See, I spend about 8 hours at school, one and a half hour for meals, about an hour to shower, 8 hours to sleep, maybe an hour and a half to travel to places (for dinners etc) and I am left with 4 hours to clean up my room, do my laundry, take a breather... sigh...I seriously wonder how working mothers do it!

Well, I have another 3 hours to go to at least tick off one item on my to-do list today. So, I'd better go and do now. Ta-tas!

Cracking, cracking, CRACKED

Ok...most of the times I think of myself as an unfilial daughter. I didn't spend enough time with my mother or father (I'd prefer to sleep or go out with my friends). I am not patient with my mother (nowadays I snap at her when she cannot comprehend what I am trying to say). I don't like the fact that my mother gives stinging comments (I know I am fat, you don't have to keep reminding me AND tempt me with food while you do it).

I appreciate the fact that I am VERY lucky to be born into this family, but I am not contented. I love the fact that I have a lot of time to spend with my parents, but the thing is, when you know that someone is waiting for you and just hawking on the time to spend together with you every single time eventhough you were thinking of doing something else, is tiring...that's why I never thought having children is a good idea. Haha...

I mean, I know that my mother is lonely. In many ways, I am like her. I don't need many friends. Leave me alone with some money and space and I can spend my time happily and fulfillingly. My mother, unfortunately, has had too much alone time that she is just waiting for company, which her children can't provide. And accompanying her is not a problem at all...I mean I love my mother...but I can't stand it when she grumbles at me for not tidying up my room, or when I sleep in (on weekends, for God's sake!), or when I changed my mind about doing some chores. Give me a break...I've been doing things at my own pace for 5 days a week, I can't change my habits just because I come home on weekends! I've been tempted to not come home for the weekends. It didn't work out because of the guilt factor and the fact that I can't stand being in the house with my housemates the whole weekend either (more on that in other post). I mean, I admit...I AM WEIRD.. I AM A LONER, so LEAVE ME ALONE!!

Sigh...am I really that bad? I mean, working from Monday to Friday (and sometimes Saturday), I just want to spend a day of doing nothing or doing things that I want at whatever time that I want on the weekends. I don't know if other people feel the same way as I do. Torn between wanting time alone / time to spend at your leisure versus time with family members / fulfilling their wants? I see that my siblings will advise me to be patient and just spend time with our parents, but I hardly see them doing the same...

Sigh...a week at home has taken its toll...and the stress of my sister's family coming home, and the fact that my boyfriend was almost non-existent the whole week, and that I am just a whiny, lousy person over all. Hate you, world. Hate you too, God! Hate MYSELF the most!

Woo hoot~ I didn't waste the day away!

It has been a productive day today. I had a to-do list of 10 items, and by 10:30 p.m., I have completed 7. The other 3 that I haven't done? Well, they are for me to run on the treadmill, to do at least 30 sit ups and clean up my room. Haha..well, I guess the first two can be postponed. Anyway, my abs are still aching from the 20 sit-ups I did yesterday. :) I watched one a too many diet programmes on Discovery Home and Health and on Hallmark (Oprah and The Biggest Loser).

So anyway, I have finally done 80% of the application for the Master Programme. The uploading of the certificates and the postal order was the most troublesome part of the online application. You would think that online application means it is a faster and more convenient way of applying. Well, I can tell you, it is still a hassle. Perhaps the only convenience is that you do not have to run to UM every other day to get a form or another item. You just had to call the IPS til it rings off the hook and run to IPS once or twice. Haha...

Well, I also managed to bank-in the airplane ticket to Tisha finally. I had to queue up for about half an hour in a bank. Malaysian inefficiency. Similar to the so-called high tech idea of online-application, this is a bank which was the pioneer among the Malaysian banks to have lots of machines for cash deposit, cheque deposits and bank book update. However, the machines are not maintained properly. The fellow in front of me must have been at the machine for at least 15 times trying to get the machine to accept the RM 50 notes. When he finally gave up, I was already impatient. I tried twice and gave up. Off to another machine and voila! a foreign worker was withdrawing money for his friends and I had to wait for another ten minutes or so. Grrrr...

Well, it's 1135 p.m. now. I still have that one thing on my to-do list to complete...or I wouldn't have spac eto lie down on my bed. Hahahaha...

Cheerios!

Update for the sake of updating

OMG...I have been missing for a long time, it seems. Haha...not that anyone would have noticed.

So much has happened since the last I blogged. Just realised that Celcom broadband doesn't work well at my place, so I am basically without internet connection when I'm there either. Hmmm...spent lots of money but didn't get the service I expected.

Work-wise, I've been swamped with work. Marking never-ending books. Getting more wrinkles and hypertension when I enter certain classes. I used to love Fridays because that would be the day I come home to Charlie and my family. But I hate Fridays now because the new Senior assistants revamped the whole school's schedule, putting me in a class I dislike the most in the last two periods. However, I always breathe a sigh of rlief when the class is over for the day. And I always go home with a sore throat. Haha... Can't complain much, I suppose.

Baby is getting older these days. She had an ear infection last month and she nearly bit me because she was in pain and she looked accusingly at me when the vet put a muzzle on her and put her on the surgical table. She's all right now albeit suffering from a little arthritis. Hunter, on the other hand, ran away from home the other day and did not come back til 2 days later. My parents and the maid searched high and low for him but could not find him. When he ran home yesterday, he was so skinny and dirty that I could have mistaken him for another dog. And he had a traumatized look in his eyes. Thought that he would have learnt a lesson and not go out of the house, but he still ran out with the mother when I opened the gate this morning. Grrr...dogs never learn!

It's 3 a.m. and my mom wants me to go to bed already. Hmm...25 and my parents still treat me like a kid. Haha...Well, maybe will blog again tomorrow morning. Hopefully, before next year. Haha...take care you people who still drop by! :)

Yay! I finally got my Celcom broadband! And what trouble I had to go through to get it! I went to Low Yat on Sunday morning to get a few things. Jimmy dropped me off there because he had some business to deal with near Pudu. So, off I went at 1030, going straight to Celcom centre and getting my package. The price for a new modem and "free one month subscription" (Promotion, or so the man said) would set me back by RM 599. Phew..that's a lot of money. But I remembered that when I asked for the price during the CNY was RM 599 without having one month free. So, ok...I signed up for the package while the other workers were busy opening up.

Feeling as though I had done a good job, I continued with my shopping at Low Yat. Luckily I learnt from Brian a couple of things about IT stuff. So, I got myself a few good deals and as I was leaving Low Yat, I saw an offer for Celcom Broadband...RM 479 and free one month subscription of the RM 98 package! I was angry. I went back to the man I got my package with and asked for an explanation. The man said that my modem has an 18-month warranty, that's why it is more expensive. Since the man was able to come up with an explanation, I cooled down (anyway, paid for it already, what can I do right?) and happily went home.

After lunch, Jimmy and I tried to use the broadband (one hour activation). Guess what? The laptop couldn't detect the USB modem! Calls to the man who sold me the thing was futile. I think I called for at least 20 times and he just cancelled my calls. Calls to the office were also left unanswered. I was disappointed with the Chinese community (don't ask me why).

So off to Low Yat again I went, this time with Jimmy. He was more angry than I was. Like I said, I was feeling disappointed rather than angry. At the shop, no one bothered to serve us because there were lots of people. Jimmy snapped at the fellows who asked if they could help us. The fellows didn't like his attitude and pretended we were not there, which made him even angrier. I was feeling disappointed by the minute. Disappointed with Malaysians by that time.

The man who served me in the morning came out looking apologetic which cooled Jimmy down somewhat. After some time, we found out that the USB cable was the problem. So, after spending less than 20 minutes there, we left.

Thinking that everything is well again, I did not attempt to go online for the past few days because I was busy marking exam papers and what-nots. When I finally tried to go online less than an hour ago, I could not. Luckily, the calls I made to the fellow were answered politely. So, after a few tries of taking out the sim card and restarting the laptop, I am finally online. And that's the whole story of how much trouble I had to go through just to post this. Hehe...

So, the moral of the story is, when you want to buy any IT stuff, go with someone who looks fierce or is rude to get things that work perfectly. Hahahaha....have a great week!

Ms Sour Face

Phew...I finally finished setting the question papers for the Year 6 pupils! It is actually quite easy to set the questions, I just hope the level is low enough for most of them to pass.

I was a bit disappointed with myself and the Year 6 bunch for the last few days. I used to believe that strict teachers do not equate to good teachers. In that sense I mean that an effective teacher does not necessarily have to be feared. I used to think that Year 6 pupils are old enough to understand the concept of "I treat you nice, you treat me nice". I thought that they would know how to be responsible for their own learning. How wrong I was!!

I am essentially not a strict teacher. I am quite easy-going and I think my best virtue as a teacher is that I am very patient. I learnt to be patient when I was asked to teach Year One kids during practical and in my first 4 months in Sepang. My approach to teaching, which is to be nice to the pupils, was accepted and well-liked in my practical school and towards the end, in Sepang. Applying this approach in town chinese-medium school is a huge mistake.

For three weeks, I struggled with class discipline, getting the pupils to pay attention, to do work. I used psychology on them, advising them, nagging them. It would work for a while and then everything would be as though I was not in the classroom the next day. Worse part is that the classes would be more in control when there wasn't a teacher in class!

The girls who are willing to study, who are more matured and more susceptible to my approach felt that my classes were boring because they don't learn anything. I was stunned. What do they mean by they do not learn anything during my classes? What have I been doing for the past 3 weeks screaming my voice hoarse in front of the class? Quickly, the girls changed what they said, said that the boys were too noisy that they could hardly hear my explanations. Hmm...it is something for me to think about, I told them. "Teacher, use the cane on us." I went berserk. These kids actually prefer a teacher wielding a cane before they could do their work, before they could learn?!

I am disappointed with myself, the kids and the chinese school system. I came from a national school. I am lucky I was a good student. I didn't have very strict teachers, I remember all my teachers were quite nice. I didn't have to be caned. A word of advice and most of my friends would feel regret and be more proactive in learning. I didn't have to be drowning in homework to learn to be responsible. But my friends and I turned out well.

When I went home, I cursed the school system. No child of mine is ever going to this kind of school. No child of mine is going to want to be caned before they learn some thing. No child of mine is going to be turned into an animal which needs to be trained and whipped!

Then, I talked to my sister. Remember Mr. Tan Bong Leong? she asked me. Yup, a teacher so nice that noone bothered listening to him when he was in class. A teacher whom everyone knows is so good at BM that those who are kiasu went to his tuition but do not listen to him in school. A teacher so lenient that copying is rampant when he is invigilating during tests. That is the kind of attitude Form 4 and Form 5 kids from the best class gave him because he is too nice and lenient. What do you expect from Year 6 kids?

So, the next day, I went to school with a resolution. To hell with being nice to unthinking kids. I was Ms Sour-puss the whole day and the kids were actually easier to teach. They listened. They did their work. They spoke in English because I did not bother about them when they asked me questions in another language.

And it is hard for a happy-go-lucky person to be sour-faced the whole day. I don't know how some people can be unhappy all their lives. Hahahaha...gotta make myself angry for the whole year! Wish me luck!!

Top prize

Well, I have been transferred to a new school this year. My old school's district made a blunder and sent me in there when there was no vacancy. So, before I get kicked out and then posted to a place even more "ulu" than my old school, I took the initiative to apply for transfer while pulling cables and begging for a school which has vacancy to take me in. And so, I got my transfer. In town. Big school. Need English teachers. Perfect? Well, I prefer my kampung pupils. Hahaha...

First month in the school and I created history in the school. The longest-serving teacher told me that she had never heard of that kind of a thing happen in all the 30years that she was there. What happened?

Well, I was teaching Year 6 Phys. Ed and a child was hit on the head with the putt. Yup, I was supposed to be choosing a pupil for the short putt and the freak accident happened. At least 10 kids had given their best shot before this boy threw the metal ball waaaayyyy out of range and hit a girl on the head. It all seemed to happen in slow-mo. I saw the boy throwing the putt. I saw the ball making a big curve in the air before I noticed that it was flying in the direction of the girls who had strayed to the left-front of the boy. I screamed for the girls to run. I saw the girls running helter-skelter while screaming. I saw the tallest of the girls scream loudly. I saw the same girl looking at the putt coming at her. I saw the same girl cover her head with both her arms and ducked. I saw the putt hitting her head. I saw her fall to the ground with a thud. I ran to her. I saw the first rush of blood from her head. I saw my hand putting pressure on her head. I saw blood flowing freely from under my hands to cover her face when she sat down. Within 2 minutes, her face was covered with blood. I panicked.

Valuable lesson number one: never show that you are afraid, shocked, or not in control in front of the children.

It was not a good experience. Trust me. It was horrible. Seeing so much blood made me really, really scared. I then realise that the films actually did not exaggerate to portray fear. When the girl's head stopped bleeding, my hands shook so much that I could not put the mouth of my water bottle to my lips properly. I felt so nauseated. I hyperventilated. I burst into tears when my colleagues asked me to recount the incident. Yeah, embarassing. But the accident was just too shocking.

Luckily the girl is all right. She had to get a few stitches but her skull was not fractured and she did not have a concussion. The boy blamed himself at first but kids can easily forget about these things. For me? Well, it's not something that I'll ever forget. So, new teachers...think of every possibility. Get out of this profession when you have the chance! Hahaha...

Aunty or leng lui?

Yay...my 100th post is also my 1st in 2009. Too soon, another year has passed. Worst part of the new year? I feel I have not achieved much. I cannot believe it, 2009 means that I am going to be a quarter of a century old soon! Quarter of a century...geez that sounds OLD!

It's ironic, isn't it? I FEEL and LOOK old yet when I hear that eerie phrase "quarter of a century old", I cringe. Sigh...I'm tired of the loud and disbelieving exclamations of "You are only 24?!" Yes, I may look old but you don't have to be so insensitive ma, right?

Recently, I got into the habit of turning away from people whom I know will make nasty comments on how I look. Unfortunately, I cannot do it to those whom I have just met and are rude enough to comment negatively on another stranger. Perhaps the most disheartening comments come from the supposedly most honest and innocent bunch, which are the children. I thought I have become numb to the "honour" of being called an "Aunty/ Mak Cik" by younger children. Unfortunately, the insecurity of looking much less than perfect and the frequency of being seen as older than my age may sometimes make me feel ...

Well, as the saying goes, "Tomorrow is another new day". I probably cannot change even a single moment of the past, but I can try to change for a better future. "Aunty" is going to be "Jiejie" at the age of 25! Hahaha... Just as I told my colleagues this morning about my teaching principles (which I think really doesn't work in primary schools, so Mel...don't bother respecting those kids), the square peg is going to have to force itself to be round. =)

The blog post may seem disconnected because the first three paragraphs were written early in January and the final paragraph was only written just now. Hahaha...til the next post...take care!